LiFe Is InDeeD a SuFFerinG

2011

2011-01-13T10:44:00.003+08:00

A new year has arrive , so has the new semester. Things have been going steady so far. Got most of my books purchased , classes confirmed as well as work schedule set.

I just have a great feeling about this year. I guess, perhaps the determination to stop going to the bars helped. I'm beginning to feel closer to my aim/ goal in life...

I can't wait to be at that moment to say " Hui Ling, you've done well" and now is some time for you to enjoy the fruit you sow.

Will continue living each day with that same goal in mind till I succeed.

Cheers to me and every one else working towards their goal.

♥

Randomness

2010-10-27T03:49:00.002+08:00

Misses my Family and my old long hair !!! =( Reminds me of the quote my dad always emphasize ,

"Life's like a roll of tissue paper,don't wait till it gets to the last few sheets to realize you did nothing with your life- Lee Cheng Tue . "

Thanks Dad !

依然是朋友mv

2010-08-03T00:53:00.000+08:00

Really LOve this song !

新的一天

2010-08-02T15:48:00.001+08:00

每一天都是新的一天

因为只要活着

每一天都有新的希望

要把握每一天

因为每一天都是

老天爷送给我们的第二个机会

What is Emotional ?

2010-07-28T02:39:00.003+08:00

Why do people get emotional even when they know they shouldn't? You just can't help it when you break down even knowing that its pointless or worthless.

Some times, I feel like hiding at one corner and just cry...

if only that will change any thing, I would really do so quietly and willingly.

Malaysia Summer 2010 , my remaining days

2010-07-19T01:27:00.003+08:00

It's 1.30 in the morning and I'm still freaking wide awake... Its' probably the Tea and afternoon sleep that's causing this right now. Well any way, a couple of events went on this week and a couple were canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.

First up,
Monday's meeting with Jin Hwa was canceled because I was feeling a bit feverish. But got slightly better after 2 cups of Hot Chinese Tea... Its amazing how Tea( precisely Chinese kind) can cure flu and fever. Fever did not persist to tuesday, therefore I was delighted.

Tuesday was more of a lay back weekday as I thought I might still not recover from the first day. But managed to meet a short while with Shu Hui over my front gate. She dropped by to pick up her stuff and as well as handling over some food she got from Sarawak... The Sarawak Layer cake... Yummm yummm...

Wednesday went out marketing at Tesco with my dad... It was pretty much a whole day there. Spend a couple of hours at Borders with my dad flipping some books... They were mainly Jim Roger's. I just find his books amazing... I read up on this book he wrote which titled "Hot Commodities". Its very ..... can't think of a word for it.. But it seems that whatever he wrote in 2004 is coming true now.. In fact all the things he has been saying in 2004 has actually been carried out. But well, Its best if you read it.. I'm foreseeing that this will continue to go on till 2012 or even later... Especially with the current economy being a pain in the arse*In the British slang*.

Then came Thursday... The ever living Thirsty Thursday... Too bad I'm not in the States...

Met up with 3 ex- college mates ( we were all studying A-levels in TARC) in Midvalley. Midvalley is a place I can count with just one hand. I never liked Midvalley and neither is Midvalley convenient in sense of public transportation. Its not on any LRT line which makes it even difficult for me to go over. So one of them suggested that I pre-meet up with her at Setapak's Lrt Station- Wangsa Maju before driving over to Midvalley. Perfect Plan right there. Upon reaching, we roamed around looking at things. Went over to Garden , my only second time if you believe it. Nothing much changed in Midvalley from the last time I came, and I must say it have at least been 3 years plus now that I last visited MV. We later had sushi for dinner at Sushi ZanMai.... Some how after tasting sushi in the states, those in Malaysia are nothing special any more. We later had a second and third round eating again... Ohh Boy, in Malaysia you can never go hunger !

Fucked up Friday came...

And must I say it was really fucked up... Hahaha... Well our ever funny Mr. Leang suggested that we hit the Gay bar down town... And of cause, it would be like the "Safest" place for me to be at... I thought why not, besides, its not my first time too in Malaysia hitting a gay bar...

So we ended up at this bar near Bukit Bintang which by far is the oldest gay bar in Malaysia( I really never thought people were so opened about it before) - Blue Boys Bar was its name. Before heading out, I actually did a little research on the gay and lesbian bars in Malaysia, but to only be disappointed as Malaysia still does not have any lesbian bar. Though lesbian bar still do not exist in Malaysia, gay bars are somehow multiplicating. There are about 4-10 Gay bars in Malaysia now. And being a chink my self, I thought, why not look for a bar with more Asians (which were registered in my brain as Chinese). And to my findings, I read up on a link saying that Blue boys bar were full with Asian. But upon reaching there, disappointment can not even express how I felt. They were all Malays in the bars... Not even a single Chinese was spotted other than the 3 of us, we were more like out of place i would say. I was devastated. I thought I could have at least "Cuci Mata"... Ohh well I guess it was my fault to only register Asian as Chinese... But some how thinking back, I was kinda shock to see that there's actually alot of Malays that are gay... And Malaysia being "like" a Muslim country, doesn't our "Malaysian" Islam Government against homosexuals? I really am proud how people fight for their own rights to be who they are themselves.

Saturday

Lots of events were planned, but were canceled due to the unforeseen fever/flue/food poisoning that hit me right from the start of the day. I was to attend the Financial expo in KLCC, Bonodori, and clubbing at night to celebrate Mr Soo Chooi Leang's Birthday, but all were canceled. =(

Sunday

Day two of Financial Expo, Meeting up with Adeline was also canceled.

Monday

Was still recovering from the virus attack. Hence was bed ridden through out my sick period.

That was how the weekend was ruin by the sudden "Catastrophe" Yes I call that catastrophe because it pretty much ruin me and my whole body...

Well hopefully nothing goes wrong from now, I do not have any more time to waste being sick...

Counting days to leaving back !

As I'm writing this, there's still a bit of headache and fever that's hitting me.

Cheers ♥

Ending and starting of new

2010-07-01T22:54:00.011+08:00

Its already the first day of July 2010. Time has passed without much notice. And that July has arrive, my remaining time in Malaysia for this summer is almost coming to an end. The fact that I did not do much makes me sort of rueful. Perhaps its just me since I like achieving every thing and any thing possible given my free time.

Well never the less, I think I did do my best in achieving what I have planned, which is to spend amplest time with my family, exploring sides of Malaysia that I have yet to discover, and lastly to reunite with friends and relatives.

Though, I think there's more that I should and could have done like acquiring more knowledge even thought I did finished up a couple of books from Jim Rogers. I regret not starting earlier on reading his books, they are highly inspiring yet educational in terms of Financial sector. His studies on all the parts of country he has visited is just so in depth that one will be shock just by looking at the graphs and charts he has plot. His book the" Investment Biker" is in fact a more well versed book compared to the other book" A gift to my children" that I also read.

You will see in his Investment Biker's book on graphs, charts, the profit and venue of companies the countries he has traveled and reasons why; backing up with fact and figures he think a certain company is doing well. The Investment Biker's book is a more comprehensive book on what he thinks a good company and good stock should look like or have, and of cause backing up with what he call "the home work" he's done.

The other book " A gift to my Children" , he wrote to dedicate to his 2 daughters who are still in their prime age is a more relaxing book that relates more to the lessons he learned in life. More of rules and regulation that he's advising his daughters to refrain from making the same mistakes he did.One part where he mention, if you're not an expert in a certain field make sure you do all sort of research and find out every thing you can before you commit in buying or getting it. He purchased a "Diamond" while he was over in Africa (If I remember correctly) and from a few hundred thousand to just 500 dollars , he thought he had got a good deal, but to only found out that he wasn't buying Diamond but some African Glass. He admit to his mistake but not because he wasn't an expert but because he did not find out more about Diamonds before going ahead and purchasing it.

All in all, I do find Jim Roger's book very inspiring, in fact more of a novel than a typical reference book i would say. A highly recommended book to gain inspiration and learn from.

Lastly a quote from his "A gift to my Children" book

"If any question why we died , tell them because our fathers lied. "

cheers ♥

Different Ways

2010-06-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets.
When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.
Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future
without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

George Carlin

2010-06-30T23:37:00.001+08:00

Another yet inspiring e-mail from the pile of old e-mails received

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate. GEORGE CARLIN (His wife recently died...) What a sad event in someone's life can make a difference..

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Dhamma in us

2010-06-30T23:31:00.001+08:00

And so as I was clearing my e-mail that's almost exploding , I found this very meaningful and touching e-mail I received a long time ago... And so I thought I should share this with any one that's reading this.

Lunch break for some Dhamma .....

Really a good one.

My wife called, 'How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here and make your darling daughter eat her food?

I tossed the paper away and rushed to the scene. My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice. Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.

I cleared my throat and picked up the bowl. 'Sindu, darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad's sake, dear'.

Sindu softened a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hands.
'Ok, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this. But, you should...' Sindu hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire curd Rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'

'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, and clinched the deal. Now I became a bit anxious. 'Sindu, dear,
you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. Ok?'

'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly and painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife and my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her.

'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand.

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her head shaved off? Impossible!'

'Never in our family!' My mother rasped. 'She has been watching too much of television. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with these TV programs!'

'Sindu, darling, why don't you ask for something else? We will be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.'

'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I tried to plead with her.

'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. 'And you promised to grant me whatever I ask for.
Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, and its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?'

It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.'

'Are you out of your mind?' chorused my mother and wife.

'No. If we go back on ourpromises, she will never learn to honour her own.. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face, and her eyes looked big and beautiful.

On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around and waved. I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted
from a car, and shouted, 'Sinduja, please wait for me!' What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.

'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, and continued, 'that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering
from... leukemia'. She paused to muffle her sobs. 'Harish could not
attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the
schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week, and promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue. But, I never imagined she would
sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son! Sir, you and your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'

I stood transfixed and then, I wept. 'My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!'

The happiest people on this planet are not those who live on their own
terms but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they
love...

The Past

2010-06-18T17:07:00.004+08:00

Though saying that you got over a person even you really got over it, the fact that the things that the both did together will never be forgotten.

Passing by a certain place where you once had good memories together is just hard to ignore.

Things that you were taught or introduced by the other person will always cross your mind whenever you come across it again.

Places you've been together , things that were discussed is just hard to have it erase off the brain memory.

Though you may proudly say that you no longer search for the loss, you will some how feel the loss whenever things that resembles them pops up.

The feel of loss will only remains as a reminder of how thankful you are and nothing more.

So Thank you and may you feel the same. Stop dwelling on the past and move on. Wherever you are , may you always be happy.

The American Accent

2010-06-17T14:07:00.003+08:00

Sitting in one of the Starbuck's outlet in KLCC , looking for things to do.

Initially , I was to help out for the Asean M&E exhibition, but managed to snicked out.

SO here I am, writing this post while FBing.. There's lots of ppl around even its already after lunch time*forcing the Malaysian accent out*.

Any way,

Lately, there has been an argument between my dad and I. He insisted that I was trying to fake that American accent. I can understand if it wasn't my dad... I wouldn't even bother explaining.. But the fact that its my dad, he should at least try and understand the dilemma I'm going thru.

Do you actually think that having been in the States for 2 freaking years and spending more time communicating with Americans than any other doesn't immune you to the language, lifestyle, and accent?

The fact that I work at a restaurant five days a week, speaking to Americans while taking their orders, serving them their food, getting feedback on every thing and finally saying thank you and good bye would not trigger that cells of mine to actually adapt to the change I go through every day?

The American accent is there, Its just that if its stronger or milder that it takes a little more effort to get to notice..

It takes time to adapt to the changes , and now I can really know why people say that " When you go to the States or any parts of the world, you will encounter cultural shock and when you go back, you will encounter far worst cultural shock"...

With this in mind, I just have to be more mindful of the English I'm speaking... And making sure that I speak Malaysian English even though it is the broken way of speaking it.

Constantly trying to adapt and change for people just makes one a Confucius.

Michael Bublé - Lost (lyrics & translation)

2010-06-09T08:53:00.000+08:00

Haven't Met You Yet-Michael Bublé lyrics

2010-06-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

I haven't met you yet ; )

Timbaland feat. Katy perry - If we ever meet again lyrics

2010-06-08T23:08:00.000+08:00

♥

Eminem - Lose Yourself Lyrics

2010-06-08T22:51:00.000+08:00

♥ the lyric

Rihanna - Stupid In Love (Lyrics)

2010-06-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

I just love the lyric...

爱情

2010-06-07T20:11:00.007+08:00

爱情是一种错觉，

是基因在作祟，

是荷尔蒙在搞鬼。

爱情，

九十九分都是假的，

只有一分是真实的。

是什么？

痛。

痛是真实的。

可笑的是,

你身上并没有伤痕，

你不会流血。

可是这种痛，

会扎扎实实地咬着你不放。

直到把你的心咬下来，

你才能摆脱这种痛。

没有心，

就不会痛。

再忍一下，

就不痛了。

-unexplainable-

A Quote of my own

2010-06-06T13:20:00.006+08:00

What lies a head is yet to come ,

What lies before has yet but passed !

The struggle to over come it , is a pain ,

a suffering that all has to bare , again and again !

-unexplainable-

Summer so far

2010-06-05T22:07:00.006+08:00

My days in Malaysia for summer 2010

-Erina , Jannah, Fong Yee-

- Brickfields-

-Gigantic Remote Control-

-In the car on the way to grandpa's-

-With Xiao Min-

More to come ♥

Generation Me

2010-06-05T15:42:00.003+08:00

Book review :

1-I like you so much for the way you cuddle with me

2-I like the way you have your arms wrapped around me when you know I'm sad

3-I like you for just the way you are

4-I like you for you care so much for me

5-I like you for you know I was cold and you told me to get into the car first

6-I like you for you would even break the rules just to have me get home safe

7-I like you for you would turn off the lights for me to sleep even when you're still playing the ps3

8-I like you for you would turn the A/C off knowing that I might catch a cold

9-I like you for you're so considerate for every thing you do

10-I like you for you would get me comfy clothes to be comfortable

11-I like you for you would set the alarm just to have me get to class in time

12-I like you for you would get me enough blankie to warm me up

13-I like you for you would use your warm body to warm me up

14-I like you for you would stay with me knowing that I'm not alright

15-I like you for you would wait for me at your door to receive me

16-I like you for you would text me first trying to act like nothing happened after we had an argument

17-I like the way you want me to know more about you.

18-I like for you would give up playing ps3 to let me try playing it

19-I like how you're being so intellectual about every thing

20-I like the way you're being patient with me

21-I like the way you would explain things to me to make me understand

22-I like the way you would try and make me fall all over for you again

Wrote : Thursday, April 29, 2010 at 1:17am

Severe Vomiting

2009-09-13T09:47:00.004+08:00

Mood : Terrible , sick

Listening : Viva La Vida by ColdPlay !

In a terrible state and would like to remember this moments down a few years. So here I am writing this.

Any way , the high light of today is that I puked 5 times in less than an hour while I was on my way to work today. I think it was a blessing of disguise that I did not start puking when I reached my work place. I had some porridge I made the day before and probably might be because of that that I puked. I totally forgot to put the porridge into the fridge and it might have been infected by bacteria that I don't know.

So, I tried having some light soup after the first 2 times of puking but it didn't work too. Ended up puking again every thing that went down. Then I knew that I shouldn't be going to work any more. Ran back quickly and made my self a cup of hot Tumeric drink . And boy I was actually cold sweating on a hot day. It did make me feel better after the drink and slept till 7 some thing in the evening( it was 3 when I got back) without much waking up. And this does tells us that this TUMERIC is so powerful when you're in need of it. Some times all it takes are just some traditional medicine to actually cure a critical state of life and death. And I did actually thought I was going to die that instant I puked the fifth (5th) time.

Well any how, a lesson learned ,food should not be consumed after a night of not having it put in the fridge no matter how hot you heat it up ! But I'm still a little confused if I puked because of the porridge or because the sickness of H1N1( I think). Some thing to be ponder upon !

Sick

2009-09-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

Mood : sick
Listening to : No surprises by Chris Daughtry On Hitz.FM

Well its been a long time since I touch my blog. I think its time to really start keeping track about the happenings that's going through my life in St. Cloud.

Ohh well let me start off by saying I'm pretty sick today. Had been sick since yesterday. But I made it a point to cook some thing this morning as I haven't had some thing solid from yesterday. First thing I cooked since I shifted back to my apartment and that was porridge. Tasted so good even thought it was just porridge with some vegies inside. Ohh well I should stop here and get more rest as I got to work later at 5. Hopefuly I would be all good later to work !

What does it mean by friendship !

2009-03-28T04:22:00.003+08:00

In every chapter of life, there's sure some thing that you will learn. This is what I found out to be so true . Just as I thought that lesson would end just when you enter college or university, it turn out to be that I still learn about friendship and how to deal with people. Some times, even when you think that what you did is right , you're being blamed for it. And instead of voicing it out , I choose to keep it quiet . The reason is probably so what if I win this argument , will it bring me to be in a happier state?

And the fact that I know I used to be very confrontatious about any thing, if i do not like the way you do thing, I would tell you straight. But now, a different thinking I have now. This is probably because I think no body is perfect so why do I blame people for what they have done wrong?

The past month, I was pretty much down with friendship problems too. And I figured it out that , why do I even care? It could be that they are wrong. But who are you to judge? And who are you to say that they are wrong when there is nobody in this world that was born perfect !

That was when I learn to let things go as it is.

And at times, I just feel that this friendship that we all have just brings more problems that good. You have to care about not hurting others feelings and make sure that you say the right thing.

Well , just as I thought I should change for every one or any one, I realise that i was wrong. true friends would take in the bad side of their friends and adapt the good. If you think you can't do that , just leave and be acquaintance. That's probably going to make you and me happier.

-out-

Happy

2009-03-23T03:42:00.002+08:00

Weather : Sunny Windy Day

Took a stroll walk back from a friends place. Having the wind blew on my face, sun shinning that makes the skin feel the heat ,makes me a total different person. Enjoying the nice weater with beautiful scenery just makes me happy thinking that good things are bound to happen.

Cheers to a better day !

Ai Ling

2009-02-19T02:24:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday My dearest SISTER !

Ai Ling , Lee

No worries about your studies, Just work hard and you will ace it . I have faith in you. Work hard and Play hard !

*let me know on msn/e-mail if you have any problem.

Loving from afar ,

Sister , Hui-Ling

Friendships , Not !

2009-02-18T01:12:00.003+08:00

Song : Friend by Wonder Girl

Mood : Disappointed

Dear Readers,

Its been some time since I last up date . I apologise for the absence as involvement in organisations had kept me busy the past few weeks. Any way, I thought friendship problem would only occur in Malaysia, but to my discover, It happens any where !
The same scenario is happening again ! I'm not sure how much can I trust friends now. No doubt it doesn't directly involve me this time, but I'm just doubting the friendship now. How can I trust a friend who doesn't even value friendship? I know every one is selfish but I definitely won't do it for friendship. Friends are made not for benefits !

Why do we have to go through this again and again?

This is too much to take ! Sick and tired of it ! Screw it !

-Unexplainable -

PoeM

2009-01-29T15:28:00.005+08:00

Strong is what you think I am,

smile is all you see,

but what lays inside of me ,

is what you can never see.

Tears that role down the cheek,

pain that hit through the heart,

can only ever be seen ,

when observe with the heart.

The things you took for granted ,

thought it may not be precious ,

but once the lost occurred,

one can no longer be cautious.

- Welcoming of year 2009-

2009-01-02T15:41:00.006+08:00

Song : 至少还有你(Zhi Shao Hai You Ni ) by Sandy Lam

Listening to this song does bring back the sweet memories when I was at the age of 13. Back then my aunt was still staying with us. And this is the song she used to listen to. I am very much influence by her. No doubt we weren't always in the best click, I would have to say that I learn a lot from her. Learn how to appreciate songs !

Well looking back now, its been almost 7 years perhaps! Things have change and so does people. Changes in lives that we will never expect ! My aunt , she's now married with a child and one more in the womb ! Happily married , I hope.

This is what I have been doing all week since Winter break. Looking back at old pictures and listening to old songs. Boring it seems , but well a time to catch up with what I have been missing out, Personal Time. I learn that even if alone, there's lots to be done as well.

I spent the new years eve by doing a count down and followed by a prayer of my own in my room. All these years , new year eve had been a very special day , so I thought , perhaps its because there's family member to be with, the companions they provide that I have been taking for granted. As instead of doing so, I realise that ever since I realise that I have grown up , I refuse to celebrate it with them and chose to be with friends instead ! That was what I thought would be special. But now, I think that has been all a mistake. New Years eve is just another day , but what make it difference is that its a new day to start a new resolution. I never thought about the resolution I needed to live for that year and instead take it as a new year for
more celebrations.I was wrong, Very Very WRONG !

Being alone all day since the 29th had made me think about what I want in life which I thought I have think it out. No doubt I have think it throughly yet, but I know what the real meaning of "resolution" now.

On new years eve, instead of going out having fun, I made my resolution by looking out the window at the last few seconds of 2008 and vowed to a few things. Later on , I did a short meditation (not long , but at least longer than all those I did here ) and then followed by a short prayer. I did some sewing on a few buttons that had came off that wasn't sew back due to the busy routine during semester.

After every thing , I felt contented for the first time as I did some thing which I think was right !

Still feeling contented and will feel contented for the whole of 2009. But by saying that , It doesn't mean that I will not work hard and strive my best.

Lets all pray for the best in 2009. Live as if there's no tomorrow and live as if tomorrow never comes !

May all beings be well and Happy ! Welcome 2009 that is full of expectations !

Let nature takes its place !

Stuck for the first winter break !

2008-12-25T06:16:00.005+08:00

The Winter Break has started. Some how, I thought it would be a good time to have some personal space. But it turn out that i didn't know what I can do ! Its been only 4 days and i'm already bored. There's another 2 weeks before spring semester start. Its just so hard for time to pass !

Depressed !

2008-12-16T09:45:00.003+08:00

I just got done with my final ESL 150 class today. It was a good but sad ending. The friendship that was bond even with just that short period of time is precious.

Any how, I had been feeling depressed lately. Its probably due to the weather. Its been gloomy these days. Especially when it comes to winter.

It also gets dark earlier than normal. And some how I'm missing home badly. Missing the weather that I never learn to appreciate. Being in a foreign country does makes one lonely and depressed.

I am looking forward to going home. Wait for me , I would be back soon.

But for now, I have to strive and do my best here in order not to regret later.

Going back to studies ! Aza Aza Fighting !

Missing you badly !

2008-12-10T07:15:00.005+08:00

I wonder where you are ?

Are you in a good place ?

Please live your best now.

And if we have the fade, we will meet again !

I love you and will always remember the good times we spent together !

I will miss you forever !

-Take care -

2008-12-03T09:43:00.003+08:00

Dear Readers,

Sorry for the disappearance . I was busy with assignments and all. And as I promise my sister that she would be seeing up-dates on my blog. Here I am fulfilling my promise.

Any way , there are lots that are happening here ever since I left the country. I will get back on that later. Right now , I'm just going to express some thinking that's going on my mind.

Its been some time since I read any Malaysian newspaper and just when I though the newspaper would calm and ease my mind, it turns out that I got more disturb.

I got really up-sad reading one of the article on The Star newspaper(the ever biases newspaper you can get). Let me just explain in brief about the buying I'm saying. The Star, so called independent news agent , was siding one side of the party when election was going on in Malaysia. News were only covered for the BN party. Well, they did too on news about the former opposition party telling how bad they did on the " ceramah's" and how the leader got caught for using racial issues to woo the crowd. Then when the former opposition -Pakatan Rayat won 5 states in the election, they sway from supporting UMNO to supporting Pakatan. This was how much "DIGNITY" they had.

Then today when I was looking again, there was this article about putting those in "Jail" if they bring out racial issues in public. This suggestion was INSPIRED by the "KETUANAN MELAYU" issue. And this is just so ridiculous.

Now let me list down the points why I think it is so STUPID :

First of all , the ketuanan issue should have long been abolish. There's enough and too much help they have given to the one particular race. ( The more help you give , the more a person will be lazy and how can the country progress if every thing is spoon fed?) Ohh, and the one particular race I am talking about are the FUCKING RICH MALAY. They get scholarships even when they have a set of fortune
Second, by putting people in jail is going to create more racial issue as well as creating unwanted war.
Third, Instead of thinking of ways to stop racial issues, think about why it happen in the first place. That will help solve the problem instead.
And finally, If you have the time, think about how you (the government ) can improve the lives of the poor and fight poverty . That's a better way to solve the racial issue. And finally, if the economy is good, I do not think the OTHER races would even complain about the inequality.

Miserable

2008-09-29T08:24:00.003+08:00

Listening to certain songs does remind me of the old days before I got to the states. Those are the songs where I used to listen back then. Listening it now, does bring back memories of those good and bad times.

Its really a pleasant feeling...

Time flies so fast, it was like just yesterday where I decided to come over to the states. And now I am already here for about one and a half month.

And every time this feelings occurs, I tend to realize of my surroundings and that I am at a different place already. Its no longer Malaysia, It's the United States !

Exploit the most of US while I'm here ! Fighting !

The road not taken and the road taken !

2008-09-05T05:39:00.003+08:00

It was my choice to take this journey , or was it not?

Was it a fated thing that I am now where I am?

If I would had taken the other road , would it have been better ,wiser?

Will it be too late now to regret?

Is there no way of turning back?

Will I ever get to know if I should have taken the other route?

These are the questions that ponders me and will always ponder around me !

NEW BEGINNING !

2008-09-05T05:33:00.003+08:00

The beginning of a New life , New things , New friends , New experience !

Will I make it thru?

Questions that would be ask always .

Wondering and wondering.

But now , all that can be done is to welcome it.

"Welcome the new / second chapter of life "

Lets hope it all goes well.

-theunexplainable-

DEJA-WU

2008-08-30T12:10:00.002+08:00

Not sure what I have gotten my self into.

Why am i here? What am i doing her?

What life is all about?

Some times , it just hits me thinking about the path i am taking, is it a decision made by me or was it already pre-arranged?

Every thing that happens does feels like i had went thru it before. The deja-wu feeling does occurred especially when i'm in for classes. It had happened before, but it stop ever since the end of high school.

So , it just hit me again thinking about my " DESTINY" . What am I up to next?

Always curious and wanting to find out but some how the curiosity died. Probably too tired to think about it any more. Still deep down inside me just want to get the answer now.

When will I only get to know the answer? Will it be too late already by the time i get to know to make any changes?

Changes that will change life.... Will it ever come....... I wonder

And always pondering over this wonder that never ends.

Will always be waiting , waiting and waiting.

-theunexplainable-

LonelinesS

2008-08-16T18:32:00.002+08:00

Its a Saturday cold morning ,and the time now is 5.30. The temperature is about 15 degree here.

I'm all alone at home. My fellow "owner" went out for vacation.

It feels so lonely on a cold Saturday morning.

Its just too lonely...

I miss family....

The joyous sound of siblings fighting.

Getting nagged on every thing I do by dad.

I wonder how long can I stand this ........

-theunexplainable-

Its some how or rather differeT.

2008-08-15T06:01:00.003+08:00

Hey hey... I'm sorry for the delays.

First and foremost, =_) , I would like to say thanks for all the Msg , smsES , and wishes.It was really really nice of you guys to do that. I'm touched. *cries*

Any way , I have to thank that I finally arrived safely after close to two days of flight. Its been a terrible and tremendous experience taking such long flights. It was close to about 28 hours of flight including transiting and all. Well , I can't complain much since it was actually quite nice flying with Northwest , just that it was a bit less spacious.

First time leaving the country alone is bad, to make things worst, its was so far that i had to travel alone. Not knowing any thing about the other countries that I was transited at was horrible. Should have done some research on it, but well, i took it to spend time with friends and family , so yea, it was all worth it.

Any way, upon arriving here, I guess it was a blessing of disguise that I got to know some Malaysians here, where they helped me a lot on getting me for the pick up area to the place that they are now staying. And well, I think I'm even luckier to have them take me in for about 2 weeks. =_) Staying here in the Hotels/Motels are not only not Cheap, But its in fact very very expensive. And we're talking about USD to Malaysian Ringgit. So yea, freaking expensive.

And just on my arrival day, I already had a welcoming party/House warming party. Some thing which I don't think many would experience unless you get to know them before hand. so yea, probably that's the reason why I'm not yet feeling homesick. =_)

Any way, back to the environment here. Its pretty cold even thought its only summer now. And probably its about the same weather as in Genting Malaysia. And yes did I had snow bite even during summer. Probably its more of a fat bite. lol. And I'm predicting its going to be very very very extremely cold here during the winter which is coming in 2 months.

Lots of thing here are very different compared to those we see in Malaysia. Things are as cheap as 10 USD per item. Some times during sale (which is now) it can go even lower to about 1-3 USD per item.So its actually freaking cheap without the conversion. And do you know that the Americans are earning about 3-4K a month? So its actually pretty cheap if earning USD.

Ohhh... Ohh... any way , did I tell that the houses here are freaking nice? Its really like those that we see in the movies, some are even prettier. And the scenery is fantastically impressive. I managed to get a peck of Rainbow here too as its been drizzling here lately. Well, every thing here is nicer compared to those we see in Malaysia. Even their shampoo is much better. More variety of choices to choose from.

As a student in St. Cloud, We get to hop on free Metro bus too . We only need to swipe our card once just to confirm the card is real/still valid.

Well I guess, I would just sum up till here. Got much more to do in the coming 3 days. As next week would be orientation already. Shall see you guys on 9 soon when I get my lappie. Still looking for one.

Any way, To contact me, All details are up on FaceBook .

Cheers.

-theunexplainable-

Down to 2, and NEXT wat?

2008-08-07T14:22:00.010+08:00

OMG... I'm left with

Freaking Days

I can't believe this, Shit.

-theunexplainable-

-ANGIE-

2008-08-05T19:32:00.004+08:00

This post is specially for you , ANGIE .

-Don't lah try to cover cover. It doesn't help. =_)Pouring out liao-

Nah, now don't say I don't have heart liao okay. =_)

May your hand get well soon. lol. * still can't believe beemer bit you!*

-theunexplainable-

Its not wasted when we treasur3

2008-08-05T19:28:00.001+08:00

Another

days.

-my fEElINGs arE uNstablE-

2008-07-27T18:50:00.005+08:00

Just came back about 3- 4 hours ago from the last meeting with Qi Zheng. He's flying off back to Aussie today.

Have a safe journey back Qi Zheng!

Some how, this year, its been really a happening year as we had not one but 3-4 times of meeting up with primary school friends.

And this meet up is really making me feeling emo. It just brings back the memories during our primary school days where we would disturb each other. Its still happening now. "Thanks Qi Zheng".

Any way, counting from today, there's exactly another 2 weeks to go before I fly off to US. In two weeks time would be my turn. *ohhh... NO*

And I thought this to my self, I know I can cope with it. But ever since meeting back 2 Thursdays ago, I beginning to feel different. Not knowing why, but the feeling is getting heavy. Having really heavy heart. How can I cope with it. Not even knowing if I would cry on the day I fly now.

I thought I was tough, but I don't think so now.

Still trying to stay as tough as I can. And hopefully I will succeed in doing so.

Praying hard !

-theunexplainable-

Counting my days!

2008-07-26T16:19:00.005+08:00

I have another

13 days

more to go!

-theunexplainable-

-My Days left in Malaysia-

2008-07-14T22:20:00.004+08:00

Counting my days on going to US.

26 Days

-Shit I think I have lots not done yet.-

-Going to miss the best time I had here.-

Still counting.

Japan GT 2008

2008-07-03T14:32:00.003+08:00

Alright this Update was to be on Japan GT Malaysia.

It was on a Sunday morning 22nd of June 2008 that I went with Choon Sin and Daniel.

As usual, I had the PitWalk tickets which I find useless now since more and more people are getting the Sarfari Walk( Car parading just right before the race start).

Any way, it was really nice coming back for GT again.

And I guess the best part is that I went with the both of them. And definately got Choon Sin obsess with Japanese guys too. *winks*

Thanks guys for going with me! Glad you guys enjoyed too! =_)

Other pictures could be found on my Facebook Page.

-Another weekenD-

2008-06-24T21:49:00.005+08:00

Alright here's the update after Holidays.

As you know , it didn't just stop there after the holidays. The week after coming back from Terrengganu, I was suppose to head up to Genting with my bunch of secondary school friends for a Click Five concert. But some how, karma didn't let it happen. The ticket that we had book and paid for had been burned just like that. Rm90 wei... No joke...

Any way, I ended up with INCOVARIANS again for the weekend. Karaoke sessions were one of the activities on the list. We went to the Red Box at Curve to sing our lungs out. My I have to say, I almost loose my voice the next day. On top of that, we ( me and wennie aka CHOON SIN) were drag to the committee party later on that night. It was at shals place -Pelangi Condo or something. It was a poolside sort of party. I practically had Fondue only for Dinner. Now it explains the voice loosing. =_) After that, we argent to shals unit for a second round with games. Too bad, ALLEX came later, so he was the spotlight of all. We were having "INVESTIGATION" session with him.

Any way, I wasn't feeling very right as my dad was killing me with his sms asking to come back early. Kind of lost my mood later on.

But every thing turn out well. We ended up leaving shals place at 2 some thing 3. Oh my... If my dad was awake, wow... I would be death skinned alive. =_)

Here's some pictures to explain better on what i'm trying to say.

-In the car camwhoring-

-No 23 going thru investigation-

-This was what we question them-

-Me and wei loong-

-Me-

After that weekend , it was WIFF( Wesak International Film Festival) week. It was a planned outing with Choon sin, Jaclyn , Kenny , Chong Thai , and Chow Fong. We all went for Char Siew lunch together at Jalan Tong shin before the movie screening. My... The Char Siew is really famous. By 1.30, all were sold off. Poor kevin, by the time he came nothing but vege and drinks left. =_)

Then we went for the movie ANGULIMALA at 2.30. I have to say. The movie is really violent. Scrapping the flesh from the finger is really disgusting. After that we went for Dinner at KLCC's Burger King, my all time Favourite hah. And went back for the 3rd movie -The Qingxia Temple . This was the best movie we watch through out that day, I would say. It was a combination of touching and humanities scene. It was about how the chief monk of the temple sacrifice for the villagers and refugees of that city.

There goes the day with movies.

The next day was sunday and we actually planned a farewell for Jaclyn since she was going to go back to Sarawak already to prepare for her studies. So we actually met up in 1U together. But due to some time constraining, Jaclyn was to be late for it. So the 5 of us went watching THE HAPPENING to kill time. And after movie, we even had time to play arcade and have A&W before the arrival of Ms. Jaclyn.

After meeting up with her, we went Chillis for Dinner. There was where all the fun starts. To cut the story short, we conned them that we were going to the toilet ( but we actually went too lah) and actually asked the waitress to get a piece of cake for Kenny as the following Thursday was his Birthday. So in the end, we killed two birds with one stone where we celebrated Jaclyn's farewell and Kenny's B'day at the same time.

-The Farewell gurl-

-Choon sin looking shock-

-The B'day Boy-

-The Trios-

-The Fours-

There goes my another weekend. =_)

My holidayS

2008-06-23T20:02:00.016+08:00

It's been some time every since I last up date. Well, had been caught up with lots of activities going on. Practically my weekends had been packed with activities ever since the school holiday started.

Well the week before holidays was actually cousin uncle Ryan's weeding. Meeting up once again this year is some thing we find it amazing. Through out all this years , we only met during CNY and that's like only the maximum 1 or 2 days.

-The cousin uncles and aunties-

-The so called Miss of the Night-
*If you realise, the bride is at the back. Being Ditched*

-With Cousin aunty ,Ling wei-

Then came the next agenda on the list - Yuk Chai's school trip to Malacca. As a teacher, one privilege is that you get to bring them around without paying for it and enjoy it the same time. Went around the Malacca town and met lots of people on the way. One of it were some Hongkies from Hong Kong touring Malacca as well.=_) Should have took pictures with them as memorance but too bad only realised it after they left. Anyway, having outings like this does bring the gap closer between students and teachers.=_) Or probably was it just me who's feeling that. But one thing for sure, it does pay a high price for this bonding session. The students paid Rm 70 for the trip by the way. =_)

-The view from St. Paul Hill-

-The Children-

-The wording in Japanese for the Japanese tourist-

-The double decker bus that's only available in Malacca-

-This was where we met the Hongkies-

-Lastly, The picture I find most unique. Love this pic alot-

Then after Malacca was the ALL TIME FAVOURITE 29th INCOVAR 2008. This time round , it was held at the Shah Alam Buddhist Society(SABS). The place I have to tell you , Its beautiful. The statues , the settings and the interior designings are perfectly nice. Not to mention , its a new building, therefore every thing is still brand new inside. And best of all, we were very privilege as to be the first ever to occupy the place for camp. Any how, I have to say, INCOVAR to me is getting funner each time. They are improving camps by camps. And i probably going to miss it after uni starts. =_(

So now i shall let the picture tells its story.=_)

-Alright you're looking at the Bapak and Anak of INCOVAR-

-And this one suppose to be Mak, But she refuse to, so have to call Joon Che-

-This is My che che from INCOVAR -

-My Kalyana Mitra Before/After born-

-The Jing Pei Hot che che-

-Crystal the MCD of INCOVAR-

-SONG the sing along song who killed me in he Mafia game this year-

-Close Kalyana Mitra after camp Tza Yeong-

-EX-Groupmate that became committee this year -

-Kenny the southpark kenny is also one of the close kalyana mitra after camp-

-Choon sin aka Wennie is also my Close kalyana Mitra after camp-

There are 3 more but sadly i don't have the pic we took in camp... And they are- Jaclyn , Choong Thai and Chow Fong (which knew much later).

During the 2 weeks break, it didn't just end here. After INCOVAR was an trip to AWANA KIJAL, TERRENGGANU organise by Miss WYNN NG who's also a teacher in YUK CHAI. Our accommodations were sponsored by MRS. BETH. It later include meals as well. Kind of miss her special spaghetti with sesame oil. That was really delicious. Practically we spend most of the time in the hotel playing the outdoor activities like beach volleyball, beach football and all kind of beach games. We even stay up awake just to watch the sunrise. And I have to say it was amazing seeing the process and difference as time passes by. Spending much of our time in the jacuzzi was perfect. The steaming hot water was really a relief of stress. Stress teaching in schools. Oh any way, what was more stressing was that we were almost stranded in TERRENGGANU without a bus back. We practically didn't think it was that important to get the return ticket. It turn out to be that it was a peak season for Terrengganu on Thursday and Friday as it was their weekend where we call Saturday and Sundays here.

The options we had were either to take a cab which cost about RM140 person back or to wait for another day before we could head back home by bus. Some how karma I suppose, an uncle I met when I came to Terrengganu with family came to my mind. He was very helpful. He drove us to Kuantan to get a bus as they have more bus there than Terrengganu. Anyway, we safely return home from terrengganu at 7.30 p.m with the help of UNCLE ONG. By the way, If any of you going to Terrengganu, must go visit his Restaurant. The food there are delicious. And I really mean delicious. Its in Chukai Restaurant RIVER BEND. Must go... Now I shall let the picture do its job again.

-Camwhoring-

-Loitering Outside of Awana Kijal-

-Trying to stay awake for the sunrise by playing cards and mahjong-

-Finally the beginning of sunrise-

-The sky getting brighter-

-My best shot of the scenery-

-During Lunch on the 3rd day-

-The kiddos-

-Out side of the shop-

-After Jacuzzi and saunas-

-The unique Toilet in kuantan-

-Finally in the train on the way back-

There goes the holidays.... =_) *winks*

KLCC the once Happening!!!

2008-05-02T21:41:00.003+08:00

*Finally had the time to blog again.

Here's some up date-

Went Johor-Melaka on the 4-4-08 till 6-4-08 for the purpose of Ching ming, But it turn out to be a Family gathering .

Next was angie's b'day, but couldn't make it due to over straining of working, where i fell sick.

For the guiltiness, I make it up for her last SUN at our EX- Usual spot during college time , KLCC -KIM Gary BEYOND.

Met her up and had a catch up on life. God i have to say this, she's becoming like wayne, getting vain. Hmph, haha it rimes hehe. Any way, I'm really glad she's doing good in Taylors. She finally accepts it. Haha.

Some how meeting up at our usual spot does brings back memories where we used to hang out after classes, or some times even skips it. Times where we had to share 2 set for 4 due to tight budget. Our craziness where we gossip about the waiter and waitress there just for the fun of it. Eating at kim gary just for the sick of kaping chai and all does really makes me think about the old times .

Some how those were the days. The sweet old memories, I really have no regrets meeting them. Now that we have gone our separate ways, I hope we'll all excel in what ever we are doing.

Just some pictures that were took that day.

and now the old pictures of us.

There goes the time.

-theunexplainable-

Klang for Ching Ming !

2008-03-30T21:19:00.003+08:00

Went Klang today to PAY respect to my late grandmother. She had left us for about 5 years now. Every year it would be a memorance about her when it comes to ching ming.

It would always be the same. External and Immediate families would come together to pay our respect. It would also be a time for us to recall of those good she had does for any one of us. Thinking the good times we had together as to not forget her due to our busy life schedule.

Being able to get together and spend time with own families just feels good. Talking to each other , trying to up date one another about the current issues that is happening to ones life is what we normally do. This is also the main meaning about ching ming if you really understand it.

But some how, it has been interpreted to a commercial festival where those who sells things for prayers will try to earn more money by creating more unnecessary stuff to provoke people to buy. Ex, Paper made LV(Louis Luitton)Bags which i find it really irrelevant.

This are all for the benefits of themselves. Hoping by giving this things to the deceased , they would gain some thing in return like striking the lotteries.

Its more of benefiting our selves than the deceased.

To me, i think, all this is not necessary. The important thing is that we're there to pay our deepest respect to our beloved ones that's all that matters. And also being together with all family members to try bring closer the bond among our selves.

I never agree in my mom bringing all those food like a bowl of rice, meet , char siu and all. As they all do it for the sick of them self. The typical answer when i question my mom would be "Aiya, never mind lah, we pray pray edi then can eat loh. Save money mah. They eat we also eat together mah. " Trying to change the mind set of theirs would be a million times harder than asking a dog to try eat like a human.

Same goes like them buying those paper made Shoes,Bags, Cars and so on. By buying more, we'll have to burn more, and are we thinking that the weather is still not hot enough? Need to increase the temperature some more?

A simple get together and the most may be some fruits and drinks is all i think that is necessary.

Here's some pictures about it which i thought meaningful.

-Look properly, you might see some cows behind the palm trees-

-This was the worker that took care of part of the cemetery over there-

-This was taken without his notice-

-The worker walking away-

* Att : The reason why I took the picture of the worker is because i find him poor thing. Having to wit stand the temperature and burning sun for just 2 hours for ching ming is nuts, what about him who have to wit stand it the whole day? Why are we complaining and still not contented on what we have?

Would like to express my gratitude towards him ( even thought he might not know ). Here's from the heart , "Thank you so much for taking good care of my Grandmother".

Sadhu , Sadhu , Sadhu.

-theunexplainable-

F1 ! Never !

2008-03-30T20:43:00.009+08:00

Alright here's some photos on F1 I went the other day.

Some how after going for Japan GT, I find F1 is nothing. May be its because you don't get to see cute Japanese guys over there. =_)

-so here goes-

-The drivers being driven-

-Parade-

-Start Racing-

-The view over the Mall-

(Mind you, those sitting at the Mall cost RM 1000/ticket)

-Petronas sign which much people discriminate-

-See those over at the trees? Those are hill top seats-

(It cost about RM 200 also /ticket)

- Private helicopter for the VIPs-

-Alright I'm going to confess some thing. I slept HALF of the race due to boredom-

-My tickeT-

-The was taken at the highway on the way to klang-

-The temple at the Hainam Village restaurant-

-Klang's night view-

-Not bad huh?-

Alright , there goes the RM 700 which could have been used for better use.

I would never go again even if its free just to get my self tan.

Special thanks to Sabrina for the wonderful experience of F1.

And Steel Recon Industry (SRII)

-ElectioN-

2008-03-11T23:02:00.004+08:00

Things have seem to settle a bit since the General Election has just past.Busy moments of volunteering for election is over.

Talking about election, its been really an eye opener for me as to witness the winning of the opposition party( The Barisan Rakyat not Barisan National mind you!).Its a HISTORY to witness this live and up front , I tell you. Its really interesting as of how we had fought for so long and had lost for so long ,but yet we finally won this round of time.

Taking over 5 states as government and denying the Barisan National 2/3 Majority is indeed a shocking no doubt we knew that there were people that weren't happy with some or should I say most of how the BN government had and still rule. Its the voice that the Rakyat had spoken that result in the decision.Without them/us, We would still be living in endless hope of hoping to have a better living as of after 50 years of independence. And yet instead of living like those Singaporeans, Korean and not so much of Japanese, We're getting poorer and poorer by year after year, and remember its been 50 years now !

Instead of going forward, we're going backward like those bunch of aborigines in the show of "The God Must Be Crazy" where instead of driving forward, they went the other. Being a fool where we do not even realise . And the biggest joke about us is that we're letting those "fools" to bring us backwards by sucking all our money through corruption and disintegration ! I think We're the biggest FOOL of all to let that happen.

Always when it comes to election the feeling of having to fail once again like the previous few rounds of election just brings shiver down the spine. Thought of having to overcome the disappointment once again just bring the shit out of us especially when you're so into helping. And thinking once again that we might win this time is just such a norm already.

But our dreams had finally came true.

We Finally Won, at least denying the "Barang Naik" 2/3 majority.

=_)

-Peace-

Mood Swings Again!!!!!

2008-03-06T21:58:00.007+08:00

Down Once Again !

Stress!

Off!

-Looking at these pictures some how cheers me a little-

-Trying to get better-

-theunexplainable-

CONFUSED

2008-03-04T20:18:00.002+08:00

I AM CONFUSED WITH DECISIONS THE "ADULTS " ARE MAKING!!!!

-theunexplainable-

If He CAN so can US!!!!

2008-02-24T22:35:00.001+08:00

Missing !

2008-02-24T10:22:00.004+08:00

Dear blog readers,

It’s been some time since I last blog, probably it’s due to the busy schedule once again. I am begging for forgiveness here. =_) Any way, I would say this hectic moments in life, there is bound to have some thing interesting or some thing unusual to be more exact; happening. You would probably ask what is there that would be interesting ? Isn’t life all about dull dreadful suffering? Think again, You would probably say that because you do not enjoy every thing that you’re doing right now. But if you make full use and appreciate what you’re doing right now, trust me its not that suffering after all.

Okay cut the story short, let me start by saying I am finally working for starbucks after so much about saying it. And I am officially a trained barista. And the location of my work place is at the old starbucks outlet in up town which is Up Town 1 in Damansara Utama. Do drop by and support me when you’re around the area alright. I’ll make sure I get you a good coffee =_) *That’s if I’m on shift alright*.

Other than working in starbucks in the afternoon, I am a teacher by the day in my old primary school ( Yuk Chai). It’s no doubt hard having to wake up in the morning, but trust me, it’s indeed fun learning how to cope and tolerate with students, and of cause lots of psychology being applied while teaching them. And I really mean it. And never make your students hate you or else….. enough said. Any way, I know some of you would be asking why the hell are you working your self out. And why starbucks while now as a teacher it would be much easier to teach tuition? Okay the answer is that first I wanted a different environment since if you know me well, I don’t stay very long on one thing. And tend to search for some thing challenging and so I thought starbucks would be a good place for some thing challenging and I am right, its not easy memorizing to make beverages . The steps and the portion of how much is to how much of the ingredients to put into a coffee. Besides that starbucks would be a stepping stone for me to overcome hardship. So I thought why not have a try.

And its not that bad after all working in starbucks, we’re all a family in starbucks. Big brothers and sisters I have there. And its indeed true , Starbucks is a third place for not only those who come for coffee but to those who are there to serve coffee as well. And to those who are not used to cleaning at home, Trust me you would have to clean every single that is being told Because its part of training. My parents more of my mom had been complaining about me cleaning starbucks more than the cores I do at home. But who would do when you have a maid that does every things at home for you? Things are very different since you’re under supervision of others, therefore, even if you say you do not want to do, you would still have to do. This is best for people who are like princess at home. I am indeed referring to my self. :-) And now, I have an extra talent and that is knowing the art of making and appreciating coffee. Isn’t it good? Getting two birds with only one stone?

By the way did I mention I am teaching English and music? Yes you’re hearing it right, I am teaching ENGLISH AND MUSIC…. Incase if you think that’s impossible, haha, you’re so wrong. And guess what I my self didn’t know I could teach and not normal math and all, but English. Never thought I can, but it proves that I actually can when you put your heart and soul in it.

Haha… Alright enough of what I had been currently doing most of the time , but what’s more important and that of excites me most is the coming election . No doubt it doesn’t affect me physically, but I try to . And that it’s by volunteering my self to distribute out leaflets. Engaging my self more of this has always been my passion. But for now this much is what I can do as I’m not 21 yet. Contributing little by little. I am darn hoping that this coming election would change some thing. Its too much of “them” corrupting the country. And talking so much about helping the BUMIS, shit “them”, every single Malay in the country except those “Dato and Datin” are suffering of poverty. So much of helping them going down the drain. And the only thing now we can do is to vote them out in order to have a better tomorrow of Malaysia. Okay enough of this. Don’t want to get arrested by the ISA. Since voicing out our rights are “wrong” in the first place, “Freedom” we call it huh?

Before I end this post, I would like to remind those who are able to vote, please do vote with intelligence, wisdom and mindfulness.

And lastly, would like to end it with some thing my dad wrote on how a Buddhist especially or any other people should vote.

Dear friends in the Dharma,

The 12th General Election is to be held soon. This is a great opportunity for me to do `dana'. Why do I say it's dana? Because with right understanding and right mindfulness I will help to vote in a good Government who will rule this country harmoniously with love and compassion for everybody. Don't you think it's a great meritorious deed? Every single vote cast is going to decide the destiny of this country.

My Criteria for a good election candidate are the followings:

(1) Upholds religious freedom. Supports Interfaith dialogues. Against irresponsible demolition of places of worship.

(2) Protection and conservation of the Environment. Will not collaborate with businessmen in the name of development.

(3) Should not be sexist and have mutual respect for the genders. Will not use derogative words in or out of Parliment.

(4) Will fight for equal opportunities for all in business, employment, education, welfare, etc irregardless of race and religion.

(5) Recognise that crime is growing unabated. Ac hoc action is not the solution. A detailed study is needed to understand
the underlying causes and to propose solutions.

(6) Against corruption. This has infected all sectors of society, even the Judiciary.

(7) Fight for a clean and strong Judicial system independent of the administrative and the legislative systems.

(8) Repeal the UUCA (University and University Colleges Act) so that our students who will be future leaders can develop
their mind and think critically without interference from politicians.

(9) Repeal the ISA (Internal Security Act). Malaysia is still using this draconian Act to muffle its dissidents in this Cyber Age.

(10) Recognise that the NEP (New Economic Policy) has been hijacked and deviated from the original aim of restructuring
society. Its implementation has turned racist and has caused disharmony among the races. This has retarded the
growth of our nation.

On this 8th of March 2008, I will support all the candidates who subscribe to the above irregardless of race, religion, gender
and political parties ( DAP, PAS, PKR or even BN etc.).

On this day I will not be swayed by sweets and promises and propaganda from the mass media (TV, papers, etc.) for I will be
using my mind critically to vote for growth, peace and equality

K A L A M A S U T T A

Do not simply believe what you hear just
because you have heard it for a long time.

Do not follow tradition blindly merely
because it has been practised in that way
for many generations.

.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................

Do not be convinced of anything out of
respect and deference to your spiritual
teachers.

The Buddha

Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

CTLee
( A student of the Dharma )

22th Feb. 2008

-theunexplainable-

Bus Crash No More!!!!

2008-02-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

Comebyers,

I'm sure most of you who are in Malaysia or some not, Would have heard about the tragedy that happen on the 25th of Jan 2008. And this is not the first time happening already. Worst still it has cost 3 lives this time round. All three of them were still in their youth. And lives of 3 perfect human being was taken away because of the carelessness or to be more exact -the irresponsibleness of the bus driver/ management/government.

Despite so many incident, they still take it easily. It shows how "efficient", how "responsible" and "how much they care of their citizen’s safety". A government that can have such incident happen and happen again is hopeless, ruining the morality of the society, the safety of our country and now, even the judiciary is a problem to the country. Being able to bribe the judge to solve certain cases, bribing to get the position as a judge shows how stupid and ignorant our government can be. Its a shame to have such ruling in our country.

The cause of this incident happening again is so obvious because our country is full of bribery, any thing can be solve with just bribing the authorities, and so much of coming out with "No bribing" campaign ! Its indeed useless and a waste of time .

So please I beg you to those of you who are reading this, one way of helping out is to go to this web page http://buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/ and sign the petition to help stop incidents like this to happen again. We have enough of lessons to learn , and when lessons is paid but not learnt, actions need to be taken before the next victim is being prey. Start signing it now, as you will never know that the victim next might be you . Don't be self-fish thinking that this does not affect you, it does when you're the one or some one who's dear to you that you treasure a lot. And after signing, please do not forget to forward it to your friends. The more petitions they get, it shows how much the Malaysian citizens care about their safety and the safety of others.

And another way of helping our selves is that to VOTE THE CURRENT GOVERNMENT OUT in the coming GENARAL ELECTION. They have created enough havoc to our country, and improvement have not been seen , instead, they make more troubles for us citizens. As good citizens of Malaysia, we have enough of the sweet talks from the government and presents to bribe our VOTE for the election. Enough is enough, we should stand and have our stand walk the talk.

In Loving Memory of Lee Nian Ning (1987-2008), Mohd. Zailani (1985-2008), Pang Boon Eng ( 1988-2008).
May they be well and happy where ever they are,
May they be free from all the harm and danger,
May they be free from suffering now,
May they take care of them selves happy where ever they are.
And may they all rest in peace.

-theunexplainable-

MISSING ALWAYS

2008-01-17T21:03:00.001+08:00

-I'M MISSING MY LATE BELOVED DOG BADLY TOO-

Bad Dream : tell it out or not to tell it out?

2008-01-17T20:14:00.000+08:00

I had a bad dream yesterday.

Still traumatise by it some how.

Not sure if i should tell it out.

As there's a tradition that if its being said out, it would really happen.

And I DO NOT WANT that to happen.

Its the matter of life and death.

Tell me what I should do?

-theunexplainable-

-FAMILY-

2008-01-16T23:41:00.000+08:00

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he

passed by,

'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

He said, 'Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you.'

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him

Down.

'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger,

common courtesy you use,

but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the

surprise,

you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.

'Are these the flowers you picked for

Me?'

He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like

You.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I

Acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'

He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway.'

I said, 'Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow,

the company that we are working for

could easily replace us in

a matter of days..

But the family we left behind will feel the

Loss

for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour

ourselves more

into work than into our own family,

an unwise investment indeed,

don't you think?

So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND

(M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

-theunexplainable-

Please help stop cruelty towards animals !!!!

2008-01-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

My beloved dropbyers,

Some thing to share with all of you.

Please go to this website and watch the following video.

And let all your friends know about it if you find it cruel of them doing such things to animals.

Please lets all make a difference in helping those poor animals from being sacrificed again.

Anti-cruelty towards animals!!!

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=fur_farm&Player=wm

Please make a difference for them!

-theunexplainable-

Drama series review

2008-01-07T13:51:00.000+08:00

ello dropbyers,

As you can see the title of this post is Drama Series Review, so the topic of today will be it.

I'm not sure if many of you have watched it on Astro, but still , I would like to let those who have not watch it know about this drama. I really love this movie , especially the actor Michael Miu. Man his cool, hot and his got the character of all girls want. If he's not 49/50, hah, I would have go for him. =P but too bad, He could actually be my father at that age... sob... But any way, go and watch it, the whole drama is filled with romance, friendship, and casino's scene. Go and get the dvd to watch ya.. =_) Happy watching!!!

Okay, the details of the drama series:

Name/Title in Cantonese : 賭場風雲(Duo Cheung Fung Wan)

in English : Dicey Business / Casino Crisis

Cast - Bobby Au Yeung as 齊歡暢

- Jessica Hsuan as 李青雲

- Michael Miu as 喬正初

- Bosco Wong as 齊歡樂/張來富

- Tavia Yeung as 譚珠美(青雲表妹)

- Hui Siu Hung as 周福榮

- Teresa Lo (夏萍) as 李好(青雲祖母)

Synopsis :

Home away from home, Bobby Yeung plays an upstart talent in the gambling
scene who just entered the world poker championships at a meager age of 18. He

was even dubbed the most promising winner in the match. Unfortunately, being
just 18, he fell into the ill fate of having a crush on Michael Miu's girlfriend.

Some pictures to get you watching... =_)

-theunexplainable-

Happy 2oo8- New yeaR!!!

2008-01-04T20:20:00.000+08:00

shōgatsu dropbyers,

First and foremost, I know I am a bit late, but still I would like to wish every one

Happy New Year

and its already 2oo8, so do the best out of it!!!!

Any way, for those who are wondering what shōgatsu means, well its just another language of saying Happy New Year and yes you're right, its in Japanese ! And that was practically the only language I could find on Wikipedia...

Any how, It didn't seem like new year at all this year... Probably its because the spirit from every one was low with all the economic crisis , instability and so on.

On New Year's eve, I was supposingly to be at a camp helping out. But it turn out to be that I was counting down at CURVE . Its a long story man I tell you.

So Any way, this year, had it slightly different as last year count down was with my bunch of Kalyana Mitras from SJBA, where else this year was with a few secondary school friends. Some how, the feel of it was different compared to last year. And I have to say, it was the best time to get together and up date one another about the happenings in our lives.

We did some crazy stuff which I think most would not do after the age of 20/21 and mind you, we are still as naive as a 10 year old. And guess what we did a few hours before new year?

You probably wouldn't guess it, cause we actually went in to one of the cafe in cineleisure ,ordered a drink and played uno stacko. We actually was the center of attention when the uno fell. And created a havoc out of it. Madness I tell you they way we played the game. Cracking jokes that you probably wouldn't expect from us.

And some how, I just find that this year's Fireworks in curve is nicer compared to the year before last. Probably, I wasn't paying attention to it in the first place..=P

Any way as I was reading through my previous post on this blog, I realise that alot of incident happen through out this year.And lessons had been learnt too from experience. I guess, it wasn't wasted after all. Reflecting on the good and bad times that I went through this year. And recalling some moments which have wiped out of the brain memory.

Okay, now about New Year's resolution , I don't think I would want to have any, I don't follow it any way, so what's the point of having one. So probably, making the best out of me will do this year's resolution.

Doing what I can for any one and every one will be the best resolution for me !

Before I leave, I would just like to share some thing with all of you!

Its some e-mail I received and try to up load to the blog a long time ago!

*

北京的另一個角落
The other side of Beijing

看到他們你還怨嘆什麼？
After seeing them what do you have to complain about?

雖然信寄來時，已經不完整了, 但我想 , 看完這些敘述和照片後 , 言語也就不那麼重要了吧！
In spite of the fact that when the email arrived it’s incomplete, but I thought, after seeing the description and the photos, words become less important.

世界各大城市的縮影

A glimpse of any metropolis in the world

北京的另一個角落～看到他們你還怨嘆什麼？抱怨什麼他們都有勇氣活下去。你(妳)不如他們嗎?〔組圖〕放暑假了，今天去火車站送同學回家。這裡人來人往，熱鬧非凡。成百上千互不相識的人神奇地匯聚到了一起，然後又各奔東西。
THE OTHER SIDE OF BEIJING ~ After seeing them, what have you got to complain about?
In spite of everything, they still have the courage to live. Are you better off than they are?
Summer vacation was here, I went to the train station to see off some classmates. The station was very busy with people going to and fro. Hundreds and thousands of strangers gathered here, then they went their own ways

送走了同學，我和朋友背著攝像機四處閒逛。「小妹呀！」一個怯生生的聲音。我轉頭一看，一位婆婆眼巴巴地盯著我手裡的飲料杯。看著她的背簍和手上的編制袋，我明白了。

After seeing off our classmates, my friend and I wandered about with a camera. “Young lady!” a nervous voice said. I turned around and saw an old lady staring at my disposable pop cup. As soon as I saw what’s on her back and in her hand bag, I knew what she wanted.

飲料還有一半沒喝完，婆婆就一直在我身旁守著，臉上帶著討好的笑容。我心裡暗自嘆息，加快了吸吮的速度。

I still have half of my drink in my cup, the old lady stood there waiting patiently, with a friendly smile on her face.I sighed inside, finished my drink quickly.

把飲料瓶給她後，左右沒什麼事，於是我開始幫她撿垃圾。感謝我們國人的「素質」，我很快就在地上撿了滿滿一袋的瓶瓶罐罐，婆婆的臉上笑開了花。After I gave her my cup, since I had nothing to do, I helped her pick up garbage. Thanks to the “quality” of our citizens, we soon filled a bag with bottles and cans. The old lady smiled contentedly.

相比之下，這位「垃圾守望者」就太不明國情了，在垃圾箱旁空等半天也沒什麼收穫。Compared to this man, who waited passively beside the garbage can, he didn’t understand the people of this country. After waiting half a day, he came away empty-handed.

婆婆今天大豐收，堅決貫徹「兩手都要抓」的精神，一個都不能少！雖然負擔沉重，可是壓不住她內心的喜悅。看到她這麼高興，我也很開心。

The old lady had an excellent harvest. Her “grab life with both hands” spirit spared no can or bottle. In spite of the heavy load, she’s still happy. Seeing her joy, I was happy too.

看到婆婆實在背不下了，我索性幫她拿回家。路上，婆婆跟我擺談，說她有三個兒子，為了幫大兒子還賭債和給小兒子湊錢結婚，她才出來撿垃圾的。聽了這話，我瞬時覺手上的垃圾袋變得很沉重?

Seeing that the old lady couldn’t cope with the load, I decided to help her take her harvest home.On the way, we got to talking. She told me she had three sons, in order to help her eldest to pay off his debt and to help the youngest to get married that’s why she decided to become a “recycler”. Hearing this, the load in my hand became heavier.

婆婆住的地方很遠，也很偏、很舊。我現在才知道，繁華的都市裡居然還有這種地方。

The lady lived quite far away, difficult to reach and old. Only now do I understand that in a prosperous metropolis that such place existed.

走過這條沿途都是垃圾的小巷子，雖然只花了半分鐘，但我感覺卻像是回到了半個世紀前。Although it took only half a minute to traverse this garbage-strewn lane, it made me feels that I’ve stumbled in to a world from half a century ago. [… before the revolution in 1949, the forming of the People’s Republic. – PK]

終於到了婆婆居住的小區。冗長的小巷裡，家家戶戶門口都堆滿了各式各樣的垃圾。曾經以為《功夫》裡的豬籠城寨是完全虛構的地方，然而比起這裡，那根本就不算什麼！

Finally we got to the little district where the lady lived.In the dull, long alley, every home was filled with all kinds of garbage. I thought that the scenes in the movie “Gung fu” where they showed the pig-basket like walled-city were pure fiction. Compared to this, that’s nothing!

這是此地居民普遍使用的灶台，裡面的燃料除了煤渣還有就是撿來的碎木片和一些可燃物。

This was what the residents use for a stove. The fuel comprised coal bits as well as other bits of wood and combustible materials.

巷子口遇上的大嬸熱情地請我參觀她的住宅。站在滿屋的垃圾旁，她笑得非常自豪。據婆婆介紹，她是這裡最富有的人了。對著這些淳樸的人，我依舊保持著微笑，然而，心裡卻很想哭.

At the entrance to the alley, this lady warmly invited me into her home. Standing beside all this rubbish, she was very proud of them. The lady introduced her as the richest person in the area. Facing these plain folks, I kept my smile on my face; but inside, I wanted to cry.

再看一眼這座最「富裕」的小屋吧，連架子床的下鋪都堆滿了「財產」。然而我想，即便是最吝嗇的守財奴也很難枕著這滿屋的財富安然入眠。

Looking at the “richest” house of the area where “wealth” took up all the space under the bed. I thought that even the stingiest miser couldn’t sleep peacefully with this houseful of “wealth”.

路過一門口，裡面那位正在整理垃圾的大嫂笑問婆婆今天的收成。

Passing one door way, I asked the woman who was sorting her rubbish how her harvest was today.

得知我的身份後，大嬸與我的距離瞬間拉近了，因為她的孩子目前也正在上大學，而這些垃圾換來的每一張人民幣，則化為天之驕子那昂貴的學費。　　大嬸活得很精神，在她的心目中，孩子一畢業便可以改變一家人的命運了。我不敢告訴她，現在大學生的就業已經大不如前，前方的路途也許還很遙遠。

After being introduced, the distance between this woman and me dissolved immediately because one of her children was also going to university, and all these rubbish could be turned to cash to pay for her pride and joy’s exorbitant school fees.The lady was very healthy. In her eyes, once her child graduates, then the life of her family would improve.I didn’t dare tell her that a university grad’s future was not as it was before. The road ahead is still very bumpy and long.

巷子裡，一個四處留痕的小男孩吸引了我的目光，他是我在這裡看到的唯一一位男子漢。希望生在此地的他今後能像此刻般執著地成長起來。

Inside the lane, a boy who was leaving his mark every where caught my eyes. He was the only male in this area. I hope that he who lived here could grow up properly as he was at the moment.

走慣了水泥、瓷磚和大理石鋪就的道路，看慣了城裡的高樓大廈和綠樹、噴泉，如今走在垃圾山之間，我不禁百感交集?

I, who have been accustomed to walking on concrete, tiled and marbled streets, looking at skyscrapers, green trees and fountains, was now walking between mountains of rubbish, had very mixed feelings.

我們的到來攪亂了此地的寧靜，熱情的大媽們看到我們的攝像機後，帶我去拜訪一位居民。

Our presence here disturbed the peace of the place; but the hospitable ladies, seeing our camera, invited us to visit one of the residents.

一個漆黑的小屋門口，我見到了此地年齡最大的主人。觸眼的景象，使我難以用言語和文字來形容。

In a darkened door way, I met the oldest resident of the area. From what I saw, it was hard to describe the scene with words.

跟這裡所有好客的主人一樣，太婆顫悠悠地扶著門來歡迎我，然而深度佝僂的她，已經無法抬起頭來了。

Like all the hospitable residents, the old lady, shakily held on the door frame to welcome us. But her rickets made it impossible for her to look up.

太婆今年八十多歲，一個兒子殘疾，一個兒子結了婚就丟下她走了。殘疾兒子現在騎三輪車掙錢，婆婆就揀垃圾，但是年齡大了，腿腳行動不便，只能在附近的垃圾堆裡揀些塑料袋之類的垃圾，一個月只能揀幾十塊錢，而且她犯有肺氣腫，但是沒錢看病，只能拖一天算一天?

The old lady was in her 80s. One of her sons was handicapped, the other son got married and left her. The handicapped son rode a tricycle to make a living. She herself gathered plastic bags and the like from garbage to make a living. She could make less than 20 yuan a month. She also had pulmonary emphysema but did not have the money to looked after it. All she could do was live day-to-day.

這裡的所見所聞讓我心裡好痛，無法再呆下去了。逃離之時，我把媽媽早上給的零花錢轉贈給老人家。迄今為止，她那讓人心碎的眼神依舊在我腦海裡盤旋不去！

All I saw and heard made my heart ache, couldn’t stay any longer. Before I escape, I gave the allowance my mother gave me to the old lady. Even now, her heart-breaking eyes still haunts my mind.

要走了，回頭再望一眼。我黯然地發現，這個巷子的「地裂」很淺，但是它跟外部的鴻溝卻很深、很深?

I had to leave, I took a last glance back. Sadly I discovered that the crack in the alley was very shallow, but the gulf between this place and the outside world was very, very deep.

走上鬧市街頭，觸眼一派繁華景象，五彩繽紛的燈火將都市裝扮得宛如全身鑲滿了金銀首飾的貴婦。放在以前，我也是深深地沉醉其中，被她高貴典雅的氣息深深迷住，時常在高檔商場和專賣店間流連忘返。然而今天，我不再有心情，試問，我們大家醉心於這位貴婦的迷人丰采時，還有多少人牽掛著養大她的老娘親？

When I got to the city centre, all I could see was prosperity. All the colourful lights and the decorations were like a wealthy lady bedecked with gold and silver jewellery. Before, I was deeply immersed in the scene, bewitched by her expensive and classy looks, often lingering in the expensive brand-name stores. But today, I don’t have the heart any more. I’ll ask, when you are enchanted by the beauty of this high-class lady, how many of you still care for the old lady who raised you?

回到自己的小天地裡，發覺這裡依然是那麼的溫馨、舒適，但心卻難以平靜。我希望把今天看到的一切記錄下來，作為成長的經驗。

Once I returned to my little world to find that everything is still warm and comfortable but there is unrest in my heart. I record everything I saw today as my growing experience. ~ English translation by Patrick TAM 談伯楷, Vancouver, BC, CANADA . All the errors in the translation are mine.

-theunexplainable-

DowN

2007-12-29T15:58:00.000+08:00

Adieus Dropbyers,

Been really down lately. Not knowing the reason why .I guess I'll be alright in a few days. Till then wait for my next post.

Ciao.

-theunexplainable-

Tagged by kelly again... Madness man....

2007-12-29T14:22:00.000+08:00

Rules:

1. Do this tag and answer all the question in your own blog.
2. Delete question no.20 and add one of your own question instead.
3. Tag 8 victims to do this Tag.Questions:

1. What is your dream when you were a small kid?
- To be a Lawyer, But it seems that that will never happen.

2. What is the happiest thing in your whole life?
- Being able to live and go through the thick and thins , Up and Downs of life.

3. What do you wish to have right now?
- Nothing. I am being very contented with what ever I have.
One should never be too greedy.

4. When is the last time you horse laughed?
-Haha… Just the other day. But it wasn’t horse, It was House-Fly laugh.
Right Adeline & Jin Hwa? Haha…

5. Whats did you realize recently?
- That I am not Perfect either.

6. Which bad habit in you that is most unacceptable?
- Stubbornness

7. When you are unhappy, what will you do?
- Just lock my self in a room, Chill and relax.

8. What are you afraid of losing?
- I dearly afraid of losing my family, relative and friends, but I know every thing is
impermanence.

9. Within 5 years, which target is the most realistic one?
- Finishing studies, and start working.

10. When you met someone that you like, will you profess or hide your feeling?
- It depends on situation, I’m a very practical person after all.

11. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most.
- People who lie to me, Back stab me and the worst, use me.

12. Define loneliness.
- When you are all alone, not knowing who you can turn to to share your feelings.

13. Are you satisfied with your life now?
- Not too sure either.

14. When is the most recent time you felt touched?
-Right after I fought with my mom, she came and say sorry, cuz she has never do that
before.

15. Where is the most beautiful place that you've visited?
- My own heart.

16. A song that is playing in your mind recently?
- Cuo Le zai Cuo -错了再错

17. If you have a wish to come true, what is it?
- Meeting my prince charming.

18. Do you have anything to be worried or scared recently?
- Yes, My application.

19. If the world is going to end, what will you do?
- Bit good by to my family, relatives and friends.
And let them know, I would love to be with them in my next life again.

20. How many people is in your mind now?
- None as I’m concentrating trying to finish this post.

8 victims that have to do this tag:
*Who ever who thinks they are free .
*Who ever who thinks they have the time .
*Who ever thinks that they have the patience .
*Who ever thinks that they have nothing to post .
*Who ever thinks that they need some time out .
*Who ever thinks that they care to be tagged .
*Who ever thinks that they have never been tagged before .
*Who ever thinks that they can do it !

-theunexplainable-

Tagged by kelly of 100 Questions!!!! Madness

2007-12-29T13:18:00.000+08:00

1. Full Name: Lee Hui-Ling

2. Name backwards: gnil-iuh eel

3. Were you named after someone: NOPE!!!

4. Meaning of the name: Em.. some thing to do with intelligence…
haha… But hem interpret your self lah

5. Nickname: Ling/Ah Ling, HL Milk, you tell me!!!!

6. Screen name: Hui-Ling

7. D.O.B.: 17th Oct 1988

8. Place of Birth: Subang Jaya Medical Center( S.J.M.C)

9. Nationally: Malaysian

10. Current location: Petaling Jaya, In front of the computer!!!

11. Star Sign: Libra

12. Religion: Buddhist

13. Current Height: 165cm

14. Current Weight: Find out your self!!!!

15. Shoes Size: 6 and some times 7, depending on the brand of the shoe.

16. Hair Color: Reddish Brown

17. Eye Color: Dark Brown

18. Who do you look like:

19. Innie or Outie: Neither!!!

20. Lefty or Righty: Righty of cuz!!!

21. Gay, Straight, Bi or others: To be known later!!! Haha!!!
Ohh, Pls if you know me well , you’ll know!!!

22. Best Friend: Too Many To Be Named, and its always safer to not name it here.
The heart will know!!!

23. Best Friend you trust the most: My Late Beloved Dog and My Self!!!

24. Favorite Pals: Those who I know who are from other countries.
There are too many to be named!!!

25. Best Friend of Opposite Sex: My Late Dog!!!

26. Best Buddies: My Late Dog!!!

27. Boy Friend or Girl Friend: Haha…. Em…. Shall not name it here!!!

28. Crush: Too dangerous to be reviewing it here.

29. Parents: Beloved Daddy and Mommy

30. Worst Enemy: You know who you are!!!

31. Favorite Online Guy: Too Many!!!

32. Favorite Online Girl: Not So Many!!!

33. Craziest Friend: Xiao Thoong the Banana, and Erina aka Hyena ,
Angeline aka the Devil!!!

34. Advice Friend: My Pet Bros and Pet Sis

35. Loudest Friend: Can any 1 be louder than me? Haha…

36. Person you cried with: Most of it by my self!!!

37. Any Sister: Yes, two annoying ones(Biological)

38. Any Brother: Yes, one… The one I Care and love the most!!!

39. Any Pets: Used to, My Late Beloved Doggie.

40. Any Disease: Yes, Loudness disease.

41. Pager: Don’t need one as I have my PHONE!!!!

42. Personal Phone Line: Nope!!! Or else, I would have to die paying the bill.

43. Cell Phone: Yes of cuz, will die without one!

44. Lave Lamp: Huh?!?

45. Pool or Hot Tube: Like both as I love water!!!

46. A Car: Pls get me one. Prefer a manual one!!!

47. Your Personality: is like the Roller Coaster

48. Driving: is my life!!!

49. Room: is part of me!!!

50. Whats Missing: Every thing!!!

51. School: Missing them!!!

52. Bed: Single!

53. Relationship with Parents: Ups and Downs!

54. Believe in Yourself: Most of the time, but then doubt it later!

55. Believe in love at first sight: I do, But have been waiting too long!

56. Good Listener: I’m kind of a counselor, so you tell me!!

57. Get Along with Parents: Not always!

58. Save E-mail/MSN convos: Yes, all the time. The Black and Whites.

59. Pray: The Chinese way , always when you really need the praying! Typical doesn’t it?

60. Believe in Reincarnation: No, I don’t believe, I seek the truth in reincarnation.

61. Make Fun of People: Always, especially those who always bully me … haha…

62. Like to talk on Phones: yes, that’s if you call me!!! =P

63. Want to get married: Hope to, but can never tell.

64. Like to Drive: Didn’t I say its my life?

65. Motion Sickness: Not that I know of.

66. Eat Stem or Broccoli: Yes of cuz, I’m a vegan okay, not 100% but I love veggies!!!

67. Eat Chicken with Fork: No read this carefully , I DO NOT EAT CHICKEN!!!

68. Favorite Color: it’s a definite Black, white, Red , Brown , Green and Purple!!!

69. Type with your fingers on home role: Huh???

70. Sleep with stuffed animal: Used to until my mom decided to throw all away.

71. Next to You: Wall!!!

72. On the wall of your room: Its white when the light is on,
Its beige when the sun shines in.
So practically I DO NOT KNOW.

73. On Your mouse pad: Wait, I don’t know where my mouse pad gone!!!
Some where around lah…

74. Dream Car: Don’t really have one. As I’m always looking for new ones.

75. Dream Date: with some one who’s romantic at some romantic place.

76. Dream Honeymoon Spot: Any where that’s with nice white sandy beach, Spa,
and 7 star Hotel…

77. Dream Husband/Wife: Some one I love who loves Me!

78. Bedtime: No particular time.

79. Under your bed: Anthony( It’s a joke about some creature/ beings)

80. Single most important question: Are you liking some one?

81. Bad time of the day: Depends on mood. And now I beginning to feel bored with this
Q& A. Its long …. Madness.

82. Your worst fear: A lot lah!!!

83. The weather is: Sunny!!!

84. Time: 2.09 following my comp’s time.

85. Date: 29th Dec 2007

86. Best Trick you did on someone: Prank Called some one telling them I’m dead!!!
And guess wat? They believed it!!! Haha..
Sorry to those who got pranked.

87. Theme Song: Current wan is Cuo le zai cuo 错了再错

88. Hardest thing about going up: You do not know where’s the stopping point.

89. Funniest Experience: None that I can recall of.

90. Scariest Experience: Some how, I just don’t seem to remember.

91. Silliest things you have ever said: Man, there’s a lot of it.

92. Most desperate and funniest thing
you have done to get the opposite sex : I don’t do that, that’s for despo’s…
Haha…

93. Scariest Experience while with your friend: ????

94. Worst Feeling: When I lost my dog right in front of my eyes.

95. Best Feeling in the world: When I’m High and not thinking any thing.

96. Favorite Subject: Maths!!

97. Favorite Teachers: Pn. Tan, My Add Maths Teacher.

98. Favorite Band: None, Not into It.

99. Favorite Singer: Can I just skip this?

100. Choose 8 people to do this quiz: I’m not going to burden any one to doing this.
But if you think you have the time, and effort ,
you are being tagged. =P

-theunexplainable-

-The way of lif3-

2007-12-20T14:44:00.000+08:00

Dear Dropbyers,

Some thing to share again today. Some thing which hit me badly today. Some thing which I think most of us might have came across before.

Situation where you have a cake and only can choose to eat it or keep it?

And that's only one choice to choose, you can not have both !

And when situation like this occur, you always have problem in choosing to keep or eat it?

And by choosing the wrong choice, it could mean danger or some thing which its not worth taking the risk to learn as a lesson.

Some how, life is tough, Living is even tougher.

Having a family and supporting the family is not an easy job, now i really do know.

Always putting the blame on others for some thing which you could not control was stupid, cause, you will some how will end up there even thought you did wish to in the first place.

Any way, there's a lot to consider when one's setting up a family.

And i really mean A LOT.

So please think carefully about your future, your spouse's future, you future children's future and so on.

Have a stable career, stable income, stable source of investment and make sure you are able to support a family before setting up one.

This is some thing I learn today as I see my parents struggle to put food on the table.

And I can really tell, its not easy.

Please think carefully before doing and major decision.

My dad might have to go out of country to earn the living for the family.

Even the heart is in pain,

What is there that can be done to not go through the suffering of life?

Thanks mom and dad,

For the understanding of life you provided.

-theunexplainable-

Personal Essay !

2007-12-18T16:56:00.000+08:00

Bonjor !!!

Finally, I'm done with some thing I always procrastinate in doing. The APPLICATION. Its finally almost done, left with about 30% . Filling up the financial statement, bank statement, sending and so on.

Hopefully, there wouldn't be any problem this time.

Talking about it, I'm kind of worried about going over. I have always dream of going, but some how, now thinking of it, scares me a bit. May be its because I would have to work more this time. Might be even deported back if being realise.

But, some how, I would still have to leave one day, better let the pain come earlier than later, where attachment is even stronger. The Cantonese saying " cuong tong pat yu duin tong".

Any way, while cleaning my personal documents, I found the First essay I wrote for my application , and man, i didn't know I could write such good at that age.

Have a look and Enjoy!

Personal Essay

Name : Lee Hui Ling

Title : The person who inspired me most

I used to be a person with a very low self-esteem which leads to a low motivation spirit. At that time I was always down with depression and stress. And that, many of my friends started to distance further and further away from me. It happened when I was in form 3 and was consider sitting for quite a major exam in Malaysia. This exam was to determine on routes which I can carry on my journey with . And with all the burden of stress and depression I had, it worsen with the pressure of not scoring with flying colors as my dad is an engineer who graduated from quite a prestigious university in the U.K.

My problems did not solve until one day when my dad came out of a sudden and talk to me in a serious manner. He told me not to give up despite all the troubles and hardship I’m going through. He even motivated me to strive harder for the test. He told me that he will reward me if I can score half of his expectation which was half of the subject I took - 4. He told me his stories of how he had study hard and managed to go to a university in the U.K. despite that he was poor. My dad told me that he had never thought of going to a university especially an overseas university. He told me how he worked hard in the U.K at that time to pay his own school fees as he did not want my grandmother who raise him all by her self to work and send all her money for him to enjoy in the U.K while she suffer in Malaysia. I was very touch and made my self to pledge to work harder no matter what that is bound to come.

The pledge I made, make me forgot about all the stress , depression and burden I had carried with me all this while. I managed to put it down and concentrate on my exam. I succeed in scoring 4 As which was way way higher that my expectation. My dad was very proud of me despite not getting flying color because he knew that if he wouldn't had come and talk to me, I would still be in my world of depression and stress and that I could not have perform well to even score 4 As.

I guess it is a blessing of disguise that I could overcome all the obstacles at that time. I really would like to thank my dad for helping me got through it and that i will continue to study hard and repay what my dad have done for me. His action not only made a great influence on me but also made a great impact on me.

After that, when ever I am down or faced with trouble, I would always remember what my dad had told me at that time and that of his favorites quote “Nothing comes without an effort or sacrifice” . And if you want some thing you have to work for it.

-theunexplainable-

Lesson Learn On A Trip Out!!!

2007-12-16T21:16:00.000+08:00

Howdie Dropbyers,

Some thing to share today. Its some thing I saw when i visited Fo Guang Shan Temple today. Just a brief let-know of what i went through today.

Started the journey to Tanjung Sepat at about 8 some thing this morning. Manage to catch a so call "Brunch" at about 11.30 a.m.And guess what we had?

Seafood BAK KUT TEH

Amaze?

Haha... Don't need to. Go there and have it your self.

I have to say, you will only know how it taste like when you actually taste it. As one mans meet is another man's poison.

So need I say more?

We headed to a Lin Chi Farm to have a look around. I know its nothing special, but for some jakkuns like KUALA LUMPUR and PETALING JAYA people, it is indeed some thing new.

And please do not be amaze with what the medicine can do/cure.

Find it out your self when you're there alright!

Oh ya, before i forgot, I saw, SAW a DOG that looked like PIG. I have no idea why, but it does really look like a pig. Too bad i do not have pictures to show it as the CAMERA'S BATTERY decided to DIE ON ME!!!!

We even went to the "Lovers Bridge". Too bad, it wasn't with one of my lover, but LOVERS ! haha.

Then we headed down to Pantai Morib and spend about an hour there before heading towards Jenjarum for lunch again. Yes, you read it right, LUNCH. And I have no idea why , but my appetite was darn good today. Spoil all my plans for dieting. Shit, I guess, I gain another inch on the waist which waste all my effort previously on dieting!!! Man NO MORE FOOD..... Really have to CUT DOWN.

Any way, after lunch at about 3iish, we went to the temple as i mention above. I have to say, after all this years , this is my very first time stepping into Fo Guang Shan. Every time when my parents decide to go and pay a visit, I would always be occupied with some event. How sad can it be!!!???

The perception i get from others towards this temple was great, but I have to say this, I STILL PREFER TO ANY TEMPLE AROUND KLANG VALLEY.

As first, its nearer, second, there isn't much difference in all the temples other than the spacious area you can find in Fo Guang Shan, and third, ITS HUGE, and Big which i personally prefer some smaller, closer environment of togetherness.

That's just me!

Okay , Please don't be surprise, I'm saying this again, We had TEA after that. Haha... And it was like about 5iish close to 6. And after much contemplation of dad towards stopping or not for the road side CHAR CHAI TOU KE( Chinese Fried Carrot Cake) , We finally stop and have a taste of it.

Thought it wasn't as good as those we had else where like MUAR, DAMANSARA UPTOWN, MING TIEN FOOD COURT, we still finished it some how, I guess, that's the human way of contrasting them selves. The plate was squeaky clean from any left overs, not even crumbs.

Our eating some how made the lady who fried us the chai tou ke happy seeing all being cleaned from the plate. She either must be thinking if my food is that nice, or either laughing at us tourist , How can you not taste the difference of the food.

I would like to believe its the first choice that she would be thinking, as it will make her and us all happy.

We then later end the trip by heading back home.

Oh, No, I actually forgot the most important thing I wanted to share.

Okay, Just a quote I found from a book I read when I was at Fo Guang Shan.

The tittle of the book is

SafeGuarding The Heart

Ven. Yifa.

It was a quote Ven. Master Hsing Yun wrote on the preface of Ven. Yifa's book.

Here it is:-

Life with Suffering and Happiness

Is FULL,

Life with Success and Failure

Is REASONABLE,

Life with Gain and Loss

Is FAIR,

Life with Birth and Death

Is NATURAL.

Master Hsing Yun

42. Humble Table Wise Fare

ENJOY!

-theunexplainable-

PaUpEr -POVERTY

2007-12-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

Dear Dropbyers,

Thanks once again for dropping by. It seems like now a days I surely have some thing to think about. Be it social issue, intellectual issue, or even personal issue, it just has its way through. I guess I'm too free after all. =_)

Okay any way, I'm not sure if this sounds familiar to you, but it sure do to me. "I pledge to help those who need my help, and those especially who are in poverty."

But every time after I make my pledge, we tend to get carried away by the current events that is happening around us. For instance, your friend might say" Hey, today's friday night fever, lets get out and have some fun." Without much thinking, you would be happily following them to which ever bar or clubs having the greatest time together.

And after having all the fun, upon reaching home, you would start to feel the guilt that is building in your body. Thinking that, "What on earth am i doing? Having fun spending money while others are suffering ? People who only can afford to have a meal a day while i spend some unnecessary money to look for entertainment?"

Other than that, we always long for good food , good cloths, good education, good this good that and the list goes on endlessly. And by the end of the day, we are still not contented with what ever we have and yearn for some thing even better. I know life is a challenge and we should improve our selves in achieving some thing better.

But , lets think it in another way, don't the poor have the same right?

But why do they not do that? THINK!!!

Now, ask your self , DO they have the ability to do so in the first place? Having to live on what they earn for a day to support not one, but a family. A family of Five ,may be? And a very famous Malay PROVERB SAYING" Makan pagi kias pagi, Makan petang Kias petang" Where are they going to find excessive money to have more than one meal?

Now, do they have a choice to look for good food, good material stuff ?

Living in the middle class family all a long, makes me think deep for those who are living in poor.

I know I'm not rich therefore, some times when buying some thing expensive, or even wanting to eat certain food makes me contemplate a lot if its worth it or not.

Imagine I'm already thinking like that, What else those who are poor?

Its just so saddening some times to see pictures of people going through the garbage to look for food, or even those who are so thin just because they do not get food at all.

And I have friends who are studying business and economics says that, if in this world there ain't any poor, who is going to do the dirty job?

Thinking like that some times makes me puke, How selfish could you be? No doubt this is the fact, but if you were the one being born in that type of environment, will you not complain?

Will you not admire those who live in luxury?

Will you not want to have a day when you can say, "I'M FINALLY SUCCESSFUL"

Its because that you are born in an environment that you can nurture your thinking of becoming some body in future doesn't mean you will forever be in luxury and wealthy.

Your one day will come if you do not start having compassion for others.

Start helping others for one day you might need their help as well.

Below are some pictures i think might inspire you to start doing some thing.

A starving female child during the Nigerian-Biafran war of the late 1960s. The abdomen is paradoxically swollen due to Kwashiorkor or severe protein malnutrition.

Siblings living in extreme poverty near a dump in

El Salvador with no access to safe drinking water.

Women living in poverty wash their clothes by a road in Mumbai, India.

Rubbish picking is a common livelihood strategy for people living in poverty around the world, with many communities growing around garbage dumps, as shown here in East Cipinang, Jakarta, Indonesia.

A homeless Frenchman in Paris.

A homeless woman with her dog in a street of Rome

A homeless child waits to fill his bucket with water from a spouting fire hydrant. As a result of poor diets and unsanitary conditions, homeless children often become malnourished and suffer from health problems.

Homelessness causes stress and suffering for the entire family, including the youngest members. Studies show that preschool children who live in shelters are often developmentally delayed and have trouble acquiring language skills and muscle coordination.

PICTURES were abstract from WiKipedia . And for more info, Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty

-the unexplainable-

ThE wOrLd To DaY !!!

2007-12-13T13:23:00.000+08:00

Dearest Dropbyers,

Its been some time, I have not blog. Forgive me for my laziness , busy schedule helping out at various places and my time trying to relax.

I have to say it has been really hectic. Even thought I enjoyed being busy around. Some how, things began to crop up my mind once again. It never fail to attack me every time I'm feeling free and useful.

The weights started to come about again. Worries that i have once left aside hoping for it to solve them self. But ,the truth is, it doesn't. And it never will. Things in life is just so realistic that some times you would just wish that its not.

Any way, lets just put a full stop here before all of you starts going round the circle with me.

Ever since I came back from INCOVAR, things have started to change. Probably, it is time to change any way. Times which I have forgone for a while due to the priorities I had at that crucial time of life. I meant A-Level Exam. For some ,okay I mean for most of us when we went through, thought that SPM was our Major, and I mean Major Major determination of life and death. And if you screw it up, Dang, your whole life goes crashing down.

For parents, they would also scare us with you know, "Your life is in your hands, you screw SPM, there goes your life ,and prepare to come out to work in the work force". "And I'm telling you, No more Luxury life, No more branded stuff, No more Good food, so on and so forth". "Some thing which might go worst is that you would have to work as a garbage collector, toilet cleaner, or even be a beggar!!!" "AND READ MY LIPS, I AM NOT GOING TO SAFE YOUR BUTT EVEN IF YOU REALLY DO SCREW IT UP".

Does it sound familiar listening to the phrase above?

Okay may be not so harsh, but the truth is, parents had been BLACK MAILING and I REALLY mean BLACK MAILING since when we were in FORM 3 dealing with PMR. Does it ring now? And after PMR, you would probably thought "Ohhhh..... Yea, its over now, I can sleep without having to wake up for dreaming of nightmares now!!! and Oh boy, I get to go every where I want now".

So you would probably be walking back happily thinking of what you gonna say to you mom on letting you out for the day right after exam.

But trust me, at the point you reach home, Your mom would go" Hey boy, ohhh... here you are. How's every thing? " and it would normally be continued without giving you a chance to reply with " Oh, you would have to follow me to the bookstore later to select revision books for you sister." "And, you're going to give her tuition during the holidays, so cancel all the other activities on hand would ya?"

See you do not even have the chance to object what ever that is being said. And you think it just ends there? NO WAY!!!... That will never happen.

So there goes holiday spending time with your self which you have yearn so long ago.

Though some might say that, what's the big deal with that? You could always get some other time for your self. Have some considerate for your parents and family!

What's big deal is this, Your work all your life to PMR, then you do not have a holiday after the exam. And when school reopens, you would have to be busy with school loads again. And when it comes to SPM, you forgone all the leisure time for your self to spend on studies and then, the most, a family trip out. And when you think all the other life threatening /death exams are over, There comes, A-LEVELS.

Which your parents would claim, this is the MAJOR MAJOR exams of all. So you better not SCREW this Top Priority Exam okay. This is in fact the most important exam of all the rest you went through.

Your will be like what?

A-levels?

I thought you said the final was SPM, and that's it after that.

You did not mention anything about A-levels at all.

In your heart you would be thinking" Ohh no, Not again?"How many times must we go through this?

Okay even if let us just scratch A-levels, What's next after that? NO more?

Don't be naive! That's never going to happen.

So base on the fact, lets just say you continue a degree after that. And its a four years degree, going through the same process again and again just like you did when you went through PMR, SPM , and A-Levels.

And after that what? Work?

Yes, Work, Work, Work and Work.

Doesn't it sound familiar now to you?

A race that every human being go through. Please give a round of applause *CLAP CLAP* and welcome " THE RAT RACE"

Yes, you have just entered the world of RAT RACE, Now does it really register in your brain now?

Or are you going to read this and forget it later!

Do some thing about it?

What is there you could do about it int the first place? When every one is in the rat race as well?

Some how, thinking of leaving it will never make you success in doing it. So start thinking and think of other ways. Before you fall into the trap of RAT RACE AGAIN LIKE THE REST!!!!!

*PLEASE, THIS IS TRULY A STORY AND IS ON COPY RIGHT, NO DUPLICATION IS ALLOWED

For more understanding on the topic RAT RACE please feel free to check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_race

-the unexplainable-

-INCOVAR-

2007-12-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

*Up dat3*

Had been very lazy to up date the blog lately. I guess its due to the after exam stress. Haha. Some must be wondering what stress after exam you have? You must be joking! But it is true. I tend to get this feeling that its a stress after exam as i do not know what i can do without books and staying at home rotting.

Any way, thank Buddha, I went for INCOVAR. The main topic for the day!!!

As you guys know, i was away for 4 consistent days for INCOVAR camp. And i must say, INCOVAR is really INSPIRING. Of all the other buddhist camps i went, this was different. I guess its because its more for those who are in college or unversity students. And therefore, our thinking were more of an intellecture. Think like one and being one. Meeting people from different parts of the states around malaysia.

Words can not discribe how i really feel. But it is indeed a good one.

so I guess i will let the pictures say it all.

I'M TOO LAZY TO UP LOAD THE PICS EDI... ITS TAKING LONG... I SHALL LEAVE IT TILL NEXT TIME!!!

STILL WANT TO SEE THE PICS? VIEW MY FACEBOOK... ALL THE PICS ARE THERE...

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=767431418

CHEERS.....

Hui-Ling

-AWAY-

2007-11-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

-Would Be Away From Tomorrow On Wards Until Sunday-

-Will Be Back With Photos I Hope-

-Till Then Enjoy Life-

-The Unexplainable-

- Blog in mandarin for the first time -

2007-11-17T02:06:00.000+08:00

Just as I was about to blog, some thing came across my mind. I was thinking about using duo language to blog instead of one. and since I have not been using my mother language for about 6 years. I was thinking may be its time to improve what I have left 6 years ago.

Therefore, here I am writing a duo.

I would be starting with mandarin first then only english.

Well, I guess writing mandarin would be a challenge since I have not touch it for so many years already now. But never the less, I am willing to try. Let's see how long I can last.

So here it goes :-

今天我觉得我的人生观点有些改变了。这几年来，我时常都认为人生是个很复杂的东西。但是过了昨晚，我开始觉得可是我没有真真的去想过。
昨天，跟了两个朋友出起。玩了很开行。可能是很久没有见面的关系所以觉得有点情切感。我们有说有笑得。昨晚可能是我这一年来笑得最多的的一天。做了我们可能以后无法做到的事情。想到也觉得有点怀念我们以前中学一起读书的时间。真是有点后悔没好好地珍惜那时候读书的时后。人是要错过了某一样东西才会去珍惜东西的。但这一切已经太迟了。后悔也没用了。干脆想怎样可以补救吧！

有时候想会，那些朋友曾经跟我们走过人生的可能是上天安排的。每一个进出的已有他们与你的故事。每一个都不同的。想到也觉得有点惊奇根好笑。这一切都让我翻醒我的过错。朋友可能是人生中第二最重要的东西。所以，各位要好好珍惜你身边的朋友哦。

好了，写这个日记花费了我很多的时间。可能久了就不会用这样久的时间了。还有，如有错字被见怪。很久美用话语是这样的啦。

okay, god, I really took long to write this. And I guess the translation will come later. Kind of lazy already after an hour of sitting infront of the computer using Mandarin to blog.
Sorry for those bananas. =_)
Try and learn ya.

-the unexplainable-

2007-11-09T21:50:00.000+08:00

Some times I just wish I wasn't born in my family.

Short hair ! Lazy me !

2007-10-09T20:21:00.000+08:00

*Up datE*

Life has been boring once again... Kind of feel that life is all about exams. Just finished one not too long ago and now another one is coming. All i do remember is study study in my mind. Dad has been nagging about it almost ever day may be its just because of my " what ever comes comes attitude". I just don't , and still never learn, and may be not going to learn until some thing comes up about how i should take things urgently, no matter if its some thing that i find not important. But the fact is that , till now, i just can't leave off my comfort zone... Been too long in it, and i guess its just hard to leave it. Its just like my sleeping habit. I just can't stand to sleep only 5 hours. I will DIE, and i mean DIE if i only get that amount of sleep. Cuz i am after all a sleeping beauty. I know , i know i am sleeping my life away, but what can i do? My priority is to sleep and i find that that's some thing i look forward to other than eating. This two are like my daily routine. I just look forward to that. It's like in the morning, i would start to plan what time i am going to take my nap, or what time i am going to sleep. And when it comes to food, i would already start thinking of what to eat just right after having breakfast. I would always , always think even if when i am studying. that's why i get distracted so easily by having some thing else in my mind.

Therefore, don't be surprise if you see me gain weight, i just am too lazy to go out for exercise. Too too tired and too too reluctant. I just don't even feel like getting out of the house. I just don't know , what else i am looking forward to my life. I know every thing i am doing now is important, but i just don't have the mood , more like i don't have the spirit i used to have when fighting "SPM" i just feel that i don't have any time left to do the repairing.

I am a person who enjoys materialistic life. That's just the way it is.

*Any way, just got my hair cut real short. I guess, i'm just too tired to maintain the long wavy hair. Plus, i just like new image, but i am beginning to hate it, may be because it doesn't suit me. but what is done is done, can't cry over spilt milk.... My hair now is 2x shorter than before, yes i know u got it right, its shoulder length. I just hate it.........

-Hui-Ling-

A fun and tiring day with erinA

2007-10-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

*Up datE*

Today its been very hectic. Went to the library to study today with Erina. She was one person you would want to study with. May be we're the same type of person(joker/lamer) , we click. Then later we did some thing very crazy. Guess what? We walk all the way from the Tmn Tun Library to 1U... Imagine this. It was under the hot sun at 5 in the evening. And i was wearing all long and black in colour. But surprisingly, it took us only 15 min to walk there. But i find that its not that crazy after all. i might have to do that soon. I must learn how to be independent. there are alot of things i have to be on my own already. I should not depend too much on my parents on ever thing.
Any way, spend about 2 hours there. It is really a day i would remember always. A day where Erina went with me to library to study. And also did crazy stuff together. I would never have done it alone. Thanks Erina. It's really an exciting "outing" with you. We shall do that one day again. This time we shall walk to curve or ikano. =P
Lets hope that day comes. Thanks once again for that splendid experience.

Hui-Ling

* abstract from my xanga blog*

GROUP bring HAPPINESS ?

2007-09-27T15:28:00.001+08:00

*Up date*

Its Been a long time since i last up date. I always been postponing to blog. I guess it wasn't the time yet to blog. But i finally got the inspiration to blog again. Okay, This post would be about some thing i feel this week. Its some thing i feel deep down inside . So if i ever offend you, i am sorry. But just discontinue reading. I wouldn't mind.

Okay here it goes. Some times i feel that in life , most of the time you depend on friends. I would also agree. But is it to the extend that you are so proud that you are being accepted into a group? To be in a group, it used to be some thing i look forward to. But ever since i being betrayed again and again by friends, I began to think about what so great about being accepted into a group if they do not even respect you as an individual? What worst when they even talk behind your backs when you are not around about the things you did which wasn't pretty accepted by them. And you can still happy say that you are being accepted into a group. I find it pitiful to some who have to depend on friends that accept them into a group to be friends. And more pitifully when you need to depend on being accepted into a group for your happiness.

What i am trying to say here is that, why not be your self. Be how you would like others to treat you. Have pride in your self. Why must you make other to accept you into a group to gain happiness? You are one individual that should be respected in society no matter what you are.

Ever since i "physically " left the group and began being solo, i realise that i missed a lot of happiness being around the rest of my classmate i hardly even know. May be i guess its a blessing of disguise that i had make the decision to leave the group for good. I know i could not accept my own decision at all in the beginning. But some thing pushed me to make the decision. And i always believe i have the blessing no matter what i do. Be it with life, with friends, with parents, i always have the blessing and learn from what that i bound to overcome. Even thought its painful in the beginning, but i guess its still a good gain.

Those classmate of mine, they would tell you straight in the face when they are not happy with you. They never keep it with them. They are always encouraging in every thing you do. They do not even care the reason you join them suddenly for lunch, for an outing or any thing. They just go with the flow. And i also realise that they do things mostly by themselves. They do not do it in a group. They are more independent that i think they are. May be because of that i began to be independent my self. I do not care if they go for class or not, i make my own decision for the things i do. I do not go school just because of friends now a days.

But some thing else they taught me was that when they play, they play to the max. That was when we went Sungai Wang for a karaoke session. It was suppose to be a a farewell for RYAN. But in the end it was more like a farewell for all of us. We really sang our hearts out not bothering about any thing at all. May be its because of their way of attitude, it made me comfortable being around them. After all , i am still a Chinese educated, brought up in the Chinese way and been speaking Chinese since i was young not forgetting English as well. But with them i began to feel my "roots " back. Being a true Chinese, speaking mostly Chinese and learning back those Chinese words i used to write in primary. It just made me realise that after all i am still a Chinese , and all this while i had been trying TOO HARD TO BE AN ENGLISH EDUCATED.

I AM NOT SAYING BEING AN ENGLISH EDUCATED IS NOT GOOD. But when you are a born Chinese, and had been learning Chinese all your life, be one. Don't let others influence you. What's the point when you are good in English and weak in your own Chinese dialect? The whites are proud of their own language and been speaking English all their life, why can't we learn that from them instead of to learn how to be like them?

We as an individual, we should be proud of who we are and not follow other's culture. You can appreciate their culture, but please do not discriminate yours.

To those out there, know your roots, treasure it, and be proud of it. Be like the whites that are proud of their own language. If they can do you, so do you. Work now...................

___________________________________________________________________

Okay here's some thing else . The show i am about to reveal really touches me deep down inside. It too gave me motivation to live. Please go and have a view on it. You can get it from you tube.

-ONE LITER OF TEARS-

* A Quote To Share- When I Fall, I See The Sky.

Happy Viewing.

-The unexplainable-

Merdeka .... Vision 2020???

2007-09-03T20:26:00.000+08:00

*up date*

Okay, first of all i have been having a very hectic week. Exams here and there. And even on a SATURDAY. Can you believe it? Imagining your self going to college where every one else are off especially for those who are working for the government/semi-government now. Ever since saturday was delcared as a non working day, saturdays have been an extra day off for those working for government. Wherelse for those private company, its still the same, waking up early going for work even on a saturday. But last saturday was very different from other saturdays as the day before -friday , was a public holiday where all malaysians celebrated MERDEKA. And most of working people would take the opportunitie to have an extra day off. But us A-Level students of Tunku Abdul Rahman College Students had to wake up on that very day it self just to go for exam. We did not even have a day off on the public holiday on friday as we were all busy studying for the exam the next day.

That morning, it was extreamly quiet as every one was still resting at home after staying awake all night just to celebrate MERDEKA. The feeling was so scary as it felt like i was the only one left on earth that was alive. Even upon reaching the other end of the city, the situation was the same. Even the Cabs and Busses were very rare as on normal days, cabs are seen every where, places where you would not even expect to see it, You See It. Any way, exams was very smooth through out the whole week.And i think i lost some weight as its really stressful taking the A-Level exam. Even my mom thinks that i got thinner. *Happy laH*One exam down, but the next is coming already. It would be in middle or end of october. And this time, it would really mean dying if fail. But it never seems to appeal to me even if it is that important. So failing or Acing the exam is not a problem. The biggest problem of sitting for an exam is the trouble of waking up early, having under go the exam pressure stress and worst still, parents concern. They would be the worst to please. Haha.

Oh any way, i better get on with the next before i go on and on with the topic.

As i promissed in the previous previous post, i was to talk about malaysia and MERDEKA.

Let me start with talking about malaysia first.

In the year 1957 August the 31st, the country Malaysia was born. The independence was achieve with the help of all our heros despite looking at their skin colour and their race, we managed to take over the malayans at that time and turn it into Malaysia today. And its been like 50 YEARS already ever since independence.But through out the journey of this 50 years, things have changed along the way.

This changes would never had happened before independence and the times of our heroes.This changes is just so saddening as it weren't suppose to even happened to us.Thanks alot to the government year by year that's changing the policies. The racial issue and religion issue is a disgrace for all malaysians. Malayans were divided and ruled during the time of british colonisation and it was for the purpose to make us not to go against them. But this theory or thinking of our malaysian government is so shallow to think that we would not .

With having the divide and rule, it affected all the malaysians especially those of our parents generations(those that are around 30-55 years in general). Our parents who might be late 40s or 50s would suffer from the financial difficulties and its especially of those who are "non-bumi's" and who have their own businesses. In order to have a government project, the company would have to have at least a "bumi" share holder to get the project. This shows how unfair the society could be now a days.And if you insist on not having a bumi in your company
you would not get a project at all from the government and worst still they might discriminate you and make life difficult for you. This is how our parents generation would get affected.

Wherelse for our generation, we get discriminated even when we go for meals at pizza hut. They would not charge service tax if you are a malay, and if you are a chinese and indian or others you would have to pay for them. Its just so disgraceful upon seeing such things. And we could call ourselves MALAYSIAN where we do not even understand the principle of "MUHHIBA". On One hand we say we have to kill the idea of racism but on the other hand we promote such things like must have a "bumi" in the company in order to get government project.But all this are the trap that the government set to have us caught. Infact the Malays that are in rural area are the same as us chinese. They are so called bumis but recieve a few or never recieved any advantage at all. They are still as poor as they used to be. The bumis right was suppose to help them come out in life and leave the kampung thinking and life style behind. But it seems that the bumis right have been benifitting only the rich malays. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. The right infact was to setup for the rich's benefits only. Talking about the poor in malaysia, they are not being paid much attention on how poor they are. Some still have to life the malays proverb saying" KIAS PAGI MAKAN PAGI, KIAS PETANG MAKAN PETANG". It means that if they were to work and eat for breakfast they would have to starve for lunch and vice-versa if they were to eat for lunch. This shows how poor people still are in rural area.And every thing we have are first class facilities as government spent millions and billions of money to imporve on it, but they forgot to spend money on imporving our third world mentality. They could have spent the money they recently used for the merdeka celebration to improve on porverty of our country, but no, they did not do that and infact spent unneccessary money on thing that are only for materialistic purpose, things that lasted the most for 15 minutes( the fire works). The eyes of K.L also was an unneccesary event where they spent millions to buy those ticket for foreigners to watch for free? How can you imporve our tourism inflow when we are the ones spending for tourist to come? And worst still, those are tax payers money. Have you asked them before making stupid decisions like this? And just because you are the government, can you simply use our tax payers money for your own benefit? You are some where like a "BIG ALONG " already don't you think so?

Even that day when my dad went to tesco, when he filled up the form, the form ask to tick if you are a chinese, malays or indian. Come on, we have already independent for 50 years, and we are still so concern on whether if you are a malay, chinese or indian? We should be proud to say that we are malaysians instead to clarrify that we are this, this and this. Having this said, don't you think all the effort of trying to promote NON-RACISM is defited? Its totally the opposite of what we are trying to achieve. And the vision of 2020? I really find it hard to believe.

How can we achive it when we are still so shallow in thinking about RACE and RELIGION?

Have a second to think about it.

One more thing about malaysia. We have been expeciencing the lost of protential students especially the "non bumis" who further their studies over seas and not comming back to serve the country. This is a very natural process when we are even treated second class. We do not even have our right to question about the "Islamic country that our deputy prime minister had proclaimed". It all started off as a "muhibah" or in english we call multiracial and also a multi religion country , but the multiracial and multireligion spirit had worn off ever since. And is now so call a malay or islamic country. This are the changes that i am talking about. Can you see how it has changed from one to another? And the changes are so unexpectable. And how do you think the potential students that gone overseas to futher their studies who some paid with their own money to come back to serve the country and being treated second class again? We were brought up to love the country, be proud about it and even to be patriotic towards out country, but what had changed us in thinking this way is that how the government had spoilt it by rulling the way it is now, having racial discriminations and religion differentiation.

We have tolerated when scholarships to bright students for "non-bumis" have diminishingly decreased. We also tolerated when non-bumis were not given government project if there isn't a bumi in the company . And we also have tolerated when the bumis were still given the bumi's right up till today when by right it is suppose to be abolished by now. But we have tolerated enough when the deputy prime minister said that malaysia is an islamic country. We all fight for the independence together, and how can he say that this is an islamic country? And worst still he put it in a way that only he himself and the prime minister could discuss about this issue. I am not trying to get acknowledgement for the non bumis who have fight for the country but to get the right of all the malaysians that fight for the country to independence. It is a credit they should deserve and be remebered as the rest of the heroes who fight for the country as well. It isn't fair if only a certain people who fight for the country only to be remembered.If without the togetherness when fighting for the country do you think that one man could have got the independence today? If it wasn't for a group work do you think one man show would have been successful? Think about it. We have been given too much distraction not to think an its time now for all malaysians to realise and "open their eyes".

Let the country to have a chance to change today by voting the opposition be it the DAP, KEADILAN or PAS as along as it serves the the same purpose we are already on the right track. Lets not make the same mistake again and suffer another 5 years. The period of 5 years could do alot of good changes to the nation. Lets make it work together like 50 years ago when we combined forces to achieve independence.

-the unexplainable-

___________________________________________________________________

Any way,

Activities seem to resume as usual already. And night life is back again. Will be seeing erina on monday. And that would be the last day i would see her already. It sound like i'm going or some thing.. haha.. but nah... Its just that she would be going over to semenyih to further her studies in nothingham already. So she would only be back during weekends which i doubt that we would come out and see each other as she would be busying reuniting with family. So taking this opportunitie this monday to do so before its too late.. Hehe..

Oh any way there would be a reunion with my form 5 classmates and teachers on next friday and hopefully this time its for real cuz i got a false alarm the last time. Really looking forward to the reunion. Really missed those teachers. Its been about 2 years already since i left school and i have not met any of them. Hopefully every thing turns out well... But kind of feel shy to meet them also. So may be i might not go also.. Haha... We'll see about that.

Would most porbably head to laundry bar this coming Sat ... But still undecided where to go. I guess would have to leave to the rest of them.. Haha...

Oh before i end this a little quotation to all....

"Let us remember we are in this struggle not to kill some one but to kill the idea that one kind of man is better than another kind of man."

*Got it from a book i read years ago.Just remembered about it.Have fun learning new quotes.*

-Weird dreaM-

2007-08-27T19:43:00.000+08:00

*Up datE*

Okay, please forgive me for not keeping my promise. =P
I blog earlier than i promise i would not . Hehe
I tried not to but i could not hold my self back by using the computer again to blog.

Any way, this post would not be those i promised in the previous post. As i really have only limited time to up data a simple one.

I better get to the point now.

It is actually about a dream i dreamt last night. This dream was very weird. It was about me who choose to kill my self. I was on a vacation overseas with family and with me was my sister and auntie. The interior design in the dream was fantastic. Even the lift is so grand and big which is filled with branded bags. It was so nicely laid on the displayed transparent box. And theres even chairs around for guest to sit in the lift. I forgot how many floors there were but it was many. And the part i remembered most was that i requested to be injected with poisons which would kill in 4 hours with bubbles coming out of my mouth or not i would vomit white stuff out. I didn't know why i took the choice but i did. And i was told that i would die at 10 o'clock but i died within 2 hours after being injected and at that split second i wish i didn't . Flash back of good times with my sister and family made me regret the choice i made. And at that moment of time i really felt scared for the first time to die. I always thought dying was a simple process but i guess its not now after having more things attached to me. I woke up immediately after i was told that i was dying as white bubbles came out of my mouth. The thought was really scary and i thought it was real and i was already dying. It shows how scared a person may be when they are having rational thinking.

Just a simple experiment, If you were down with some thing let say stress and you could not solve the problem and first thing in mind is to commit suicide or may be die. And at that time, i bet you won't be worrying that would it be painful to die or what would i be when i die sort of question. This in fact is the opposite when you do not want to die but when forced to. You would have the scary thought of dying and flash back of good times with you family and friends or some one important to you would start to appear. And you would think who is it going to take care of my family or may be my parents after i am gone? Question like this would appear out of the blue. Its just so scary to think about it now that i thought it was going to happened.

But i guess that dream was meant to make me realise how important i actually treasure my life even i some times doubt it. It really did make me treasure my life more than before. Even thought i had always been a very careful person.

Any way, just a simple lesson to all... Treasure your life like how you might treasure your phone or your loved ones. As you might never know when or where you might be going.

A quote to all:

Life is not dated merly by year. Event is some times the best calender.

-Benjamin Disraeli-

-the unexplainable-

tRiP + de3peR unDersTandiNg

2007-08-26T20:20:00.000+08:00

* up date*

As mentioned in the previous post, i went away out of the city for about 3 days. This 3 days really made up the time for me to spent it with my family. I actually had a very bad feeling before this about going as i thought it would end up a disaster to the getaway. But never the less, i went and in fact it turn out to be tremendously the opposite of what i had thought in mind before. And that, it was a good way of repairing the relationship with my parents and siblings. I had always fought with my sisters especially the one who is just 5 years younger than me. I always thought to my self that she always find other people's fault and never look on hers at all. But i realise that i was wrong after the end of the 3 days.

May be all this while i have under look on her. She was not very compromising in the beginning when we were about to leave the house as there was a slight argument about our personal belongings. But later upon reaching the destination, things began to move smoothly despite the argument we had earlier. In fact we compromised later on the issue we had an argument on earlier.

For the first time, i felt that she wasn't that unreasonable after all. And later i figured that out that it could be due to our different opinion as we both are very headstrong person any way. After the compromisation, i began to give in a lot to her may be because i felt that i should do so in return. As the saying goes, what goes around , comes around. That indeed is true, and i realise that i did it not because i wanted some thing in return and that act was out of kindness that she showed me. And because of that, for that 3 days we lived under one room without even argue or scold each other for things we have done wrong. And this is so strange that normally at home, we would even argue or purposely have different opinion on the simplest mistake we do.

It shows how strange that could be and when a person is in good mood , you won't mind giving in more than you used to, and i also realise some thing that we can control our own emotions and that the best we could have for a day.

Its like when you are emotionally down, we would tent to look for the simplest things to get angry at. Even if its just a question that would make you think that people is accusing you. This is how us human can some times be. We can be very rational this second,and we can be very unreasonable the next.

Okay enough of those, some thing more serious now.

I had been away for about a week. The 3 days of trip and the remaining at grandpa's place. And by right this week was suppose to be a so called study leave to catch up with studies that we might not have time during the classes days. But instead i spent it for trips which is unnecessary and catch up time with my baby little cousin and aunt. I'm so a no priority person. But can't help it as this is the way i am.

And worst still exam is on tuesday, and i am still lingering with my blog here. I'm going to be so dead when the results are out. Can't wait till my dad chop me alive. He's going to be so disappointed with me. But i guess he just have to accept my way of life who never takes things seriously that's why we always have different point of view. But hopefully he could accept the me me.

For it, i am actually still looking for the real me that is hidden under the me now.

And always trying to understand the things that is unexplainable.

Won't be updating soon for the moment as i don't think i would even have time to sit properly and eat. :-)

___________________________________________________________________

Next post will be about some thing to do with our beloved country- MALAYSIA

+

Pictures of the trip

+

The celebration of 50th anniversary of MERDEKA

*please wait patiently for the arrival of next post as it wouldn't be soon. Thanks.

-the unexplainable-

* the hardest choice i made/ break away*

2007-08-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

Some how i have begin to let go of all the things i always thought i would have it for life...

And it feels good to let go of the burden...

All this while the burden had been adding...

It is a difficult decision, but i hope you guys would respect my decision...

We will still be best of friends...

Its just minus the togetherness that's all...

Don't worry about how I'm to live the rest of the 3 months...

Cuz i know i will survive...

Thanks alot for the care n share of all this while we were together....

Hope for the best for all of you...

*Pls : when you come and talk to me, pls let it not be asking me why or try to convince me...

LOvE lots,

Hui-LIng

___________________________________________________________________

* up date*

Will be away from home for 3 days....

Will only be back on mon....

Going on a trip.....

Hopefully every thing will turn out fine....

Lets hope it would be a good break away from stress.....

Till then....

*next post*

-unexplainable-

-LyinG-

2007-08-07T20:02:00.000+08:00

I came across some thing very interesting today... And i decided to blog about it...

Its happened when i was having my G.P class in college....

We were asked to list down ten points about a certain topic... And the topic i decided to choose was

"PEOPLE ENJOY LYING FOR MANY REASONS"

They enjoy lying as they would get attention they want from others.
They lie just for the sick to be accepted into a group.
They lie also to protect themselves from being blamed
They also lie for the fun of it.
They lie to get others into trouble.
They lie to plot a certain scenario.
They lie to get sympathy from others.
They lie just to back stab.
They lie just to create topics to talk.
They think that it is cool.

It just came to me instantly when i read through the list of question. And i just can't help but to keep writing about all the pros about it... Some how when the person siting next to me asked how i could list so many down.... I briefly answer her that it was because i had experience it before, and please don't get me wrong, the experience is actually an experience people lied to me. Therefore, i can be so clear about listing all the points out.

Any way, i find some very lame though.... But just to full fill the lecturer's request, i have no choice but to list it down...But going through it again, i find that most of it or can i say all of it is true...

-fOrGive BuT neVer FoRgeT-

2007-08-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

I have to admit before this that i am angry to post such things.. But the true reason behind it is because you just annoys me... And that actually i don't hate you, its just that i can't bring my self to forgive you, or more i would not want to associate with you... Since i still don't sense your repentance, i'm sorry i would like to avoid...

A person will never know when the bad side will come out again... And deep down, i actually have let it go a long time ago... It was just because i was annoyed this few days that i wrote that....

But as i said, i just still can't forget... Forgive is a matter of time.... N i can tell, i am beginning to forgive but still i refuse to forget... N i do not want to forget....

And as in kalama sutta, it says"ASSOCIATE WITH THE WISE AVOID THE FOOLISH"
learn from those you can and avoid those that influence you to the worst... Therefore, i wish you could forgive me for my selfishness... I am too trying to perfect and protect my self.... I'm sorry too if i have accuse you in any way doubting that you have repent.... I would like to apologise...

And i really mean it from the bottom of my heart. But i would still like to stand on my thought that i should avoid you.

I hope you would understand...

Through out the time we had together, there were good times too , but that would still remain as memories.... Hopefully you really repent as well...

Lets hope that the rest sees what you are transforming into... Hopefully one day i would really see the changes as well... But at the moment, i just can't....

About the 7 person that sees your transformation, i would like to just say, you didn't hurt as much you hurt me... So i guess its still acceptable for them.... So i hope your friendship with them would last longer than ours and better still if it would last a life....

Wishes from me,

Hopefully you really see the trust in repenting and not just say....

May you be free from harm and danger,
May you be free from mental and physical sufferings,
May you be well and happy ,
May you practise the right living always....

-Sukhi Hotu-

-a dAy OuT oF ciTy-

2007-08-06T18:50:00.000+08:00

Had been away from the city for the weekend... And alot have been thought about life... And also problems that occurred since the beginning of the year.... Things i have ignore to think about because i was worried i would come out with an irrational solution... But i finally got the courage to do so...

Along the way to the country side,i saw things we would never notice even in the city...

It was about a few old indian man doing their job even it was already 5 some thing , going to be 6 on a Saturday evening... As for us city people, when Friday comes, we would be very exited even on the Thursday night it self, thinking that tomorrow would be the last day of the week to work... And at 4.30 or 5 for some, would start packing their bags happily leave the office to go back and spend time with their family or if not they would head to a club for happy hour...

Where else those living in the rural or suburban area, they would still have to prepare to wake up early in the morning the next day to work to earn extra for the family or some worst just to make ends meet for the day...

For this , those living in the urban area but who's not that rich- middle class- tends to have the uncontenment with what they have and yet still complain about things that don't have!!!

Another thing i realise that applies very well in life is that when some thing pass, you will never get the same chance again... I realise this when i wanted to take pictures on the sceneries but i was a second late, not even a single thing i caught... And i thought to my self, hem.. *may be i would get it late along the way, but as roads were drive though, it never happened, you might see the thing you first wanted to take, but it will never look the same as the first one you saw...
Therefore, if you don't cease the chance given, you will never get it again... *so better treasure what you are given now before you loose it and regret later... Chances never come twice the same...

The most important thing i realise in this trip away is that, you should try harder in every thing you do, but make sure you do it in a sincere way... The thought just came when i was taking care of my baby little cousin... All this while when she(my cute baby little cousin) came visiting us no matter how hard i try to make her smile, she just won't.... She would smile to every one on the earth but just not me... And i gave up trying to make her smile when i failed the second time... But i realise, i was actually wrong... She did smile to me when i was taking care of her during the weekend... She not only smile at me , she even played with me, talked to me.... And it was because i tried hard this time, and i can tell you, i have failed 5 times it self just this round...And she finally smiled.... This is the result you get when you have try hard...This is the same as in ever thing we do, when we have the intention to do some thing, make sure you do it with all you heart... Be it studies, career.... Its the same.... When you have try hard, even if you don't get the results you one, the satisfaction is there... It shows that at least you try hard... I have heard this a lot of times and guess what? it was from my mom... But i never took her words into account... But now i finally realise the important of putting you heart and soul in doing some things you intend to do... Its always hard to accept when you're not in the situation, but when you have come across it, you will know that that's what people have gone through... And that is when you would know that what the person tell you all this while is actually true....

This trip back is an relaxing yet wakening trip for me... And i can tell you ever since my grandmother pass away, i really haven't been back for long... Really missed the place... It gives back memories when my grandmother was still alive... And the house is always a place you can cry your heart out... No body would bother you... The shore is just a walk away , the paddy is just a drive away... Its a free place and a place that no body knows you, so need not to worry about any one who would recognise you there... So soothing, so relaxing... But this is all temporary, reality still has to come back... And not i'm back in the world where life's a struggle which is filled with competition and pretentiousness.... Its always good to have a day or two out from this place.....

Looking forward to go there soon again.........

ChangeS

2007-08-03T20:20:00.000+08:00

Just don't know what had got into me, but i seem to be more down than usual... May be its because i'm changing?

But i really have no idea.. Hopefully i will get to know soon 2...

Any way, things had happened without you knowing.. Its just so quick that it happened and passed without you knowing...

Hopefully i would be ale to find th3 way out soon.. Don't want to be stuck here for long...

Till then..... wait for my good news......

BITCH

2007-08-01T21:48:00.000+08:00

I just don't know how to bring my self to forgive her.

N instead to forgive her, i hate her even more inside now.

I just can't seem to forget the lie she told me.. N even more , backstabbing me...

N i have told my self never to forgive such people... As this isn't the first time already...

I can be very nice ... But once u go over the board, i'm sorry u'll have to wait for your next life ...

N even u really repent, u have 2 earn back the trust... I can't be giving it to u just because every body thinks that u have repent...

N i would still go on my stand even if it means losing every thing...

To other people , u have already repent.. But i just know u 2 well that u won't... The time we been thru have proved it... N i'm not making the same stupid mistake again.

N with ur kind of character u just won't....

U might think i'm naive with my looks , but tell u some thing, i'm not....

I'm not that naive to believe u have changed....

Ur innocent look n all ,can not fool me the second time... I'm not falling for the trick again...

I just really hate u to the max now... U BLOODY BITCH FUCK OFF..... stop fucking ur innocent look around 2 make others believe u...

N the worst part is to proclaim ur a buddhist... Shit.... please don't claim as one when all u do is to go for pooja(prayers).... U know nuts in u... N stop disgracing those true buddhist... ur not fit 2 be one... If u were a buddhist, u would not have broke all the 3 precepts...There's 5 all together.

I know i shouldn't have said that, but if u really get to know.. u'll feel the same... i have tolerate too much up to this level, n pls stop ur fakeness on asking how i am.... have the guards to ask me lah if ur so concern... Its not like u r shy or what? why go thru others ? just to show that u sympathies with me? or is it to show that u really care for me? If u can fucking ask for a strangers number n name, have the guards to talk to me u BITCH...

The more i think of it the more i hate u...

Just carry on with ur life, u dont need me as ur fren, since u don't even treasure it in the first place , n what more back stabbed....

Stop pretending to be caring..i don't need it... Just leave me alone... i will know when u have repent... N who knows i might forgive u....It helps alot by not being a BITCH TO ASK ABOUT ME..... Cuz its just a show i know....

.................................KNOW U TOO WELL ALREADY......................................

Our part to do somethinG

2007-07-31T20:46:00.000+08:00

Its just so hard to believe that all this is happening...

About may 13 n all...

People were accused for things not done...

N lives were killed for no particular reason.. ok may be more of being busy body... standing at the side just to watch what were to happen....

But don't u think if that happens, where is our freedom of standing freely where ever we want?

N do you still feel safe staying in this country that invades your privacy?

No matter if its true or not... Its always good to know the other side of the story... N judge for yourself of who's the one that's creating the havoc n all...

N its up 2 you to believe about the truth.. But its never a loss to know more...

N in this screw up gov of ours today, its time we do some thing do have a better change...

Act now before its too late...

N stop being selfish thinking that some one else would do what ur thinking in mind.... Because if every one is being contrarian, who's the one to do the job? N if every one do their part, we won't need long to succeed in what we want....

Think.....

*inspired by : www.http://malaysia-today.net/blog2006/

Life is just so unfaiR....

2007-07-30T18:49:00.000+08:00

Life is just so unfair....

The government can spent so much money on unnecessary things like building klcc, putrajaya n so on...

Why can't they just spent some money to help those poor to relocate to a better environment?

Don't you think its even more meaningful to do things like that than to spend millions n millions on projects that only benefit some? N its also part of developing the country...

Some of us might have been too many times to klcc n may be even bored with the place already...

But some who's to the extend only gets to eat when they work- *Malay proverbs: MAKAN PAGI KIAS PAGI, MAKAN PETANG KIAS PETANG* Can not even effort to have proper meals... Talk what some more about going there to enjoy the place...

Life's just so unfair...

N imagine those that takes bribe ...

N some the amount is not small...It can be as high as $500 million.... So n when it was found out, they kill the person who black mails to leak it out... N later make it as thought others who was the one that initiated the murder....

Is there still law in the world???

Media other than the Government

2007-07-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

Some thing interesting for every one to view . Here's the link...

http://www.malaysia-today.net/index.shtml

&

http://www.malaysiakini.com/

This r interesting site to boost knowledge about today's world *more like in malaysia actually*

Know of those that we can't from the controlled media...

N you would find it surprising to learn about it...

Feel free to leave comment here after reading....

-Back as usual-

2007-07-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

First of all, i would like to thank every condolence sent to me upon my dog's death. It was really kind of all of you who sent. N the concern was even a greater thing i treasure. Any way, i was abit carried away upon his death there for i apologise for the absent of blogging. But what ever it is, i'm back now so its n longer a matter.

So any way, between this period of absenteeism, lots of thinking had been done. About how i would continue living my life despite not having my beloved dog beside me any more. N i finally figured it out, lifes still got to go on no matter what.

Ever since that day, i have tried to occupy my self with busy schedule, but none of that works, its still comes to the same by the end of every day, i would be missing his presence, the way he breath at night as it gets more chilly, n the way he would make you pay attention to him....

But it now just too last to think back n grief of all the thing i not did... N i should just carry on with life without forgetting how i spent my life him him all this year.

N therefore, may he rest in peace where ever he s now.......

Loving for ever,

Hui-Ling

DOGGIE

2007-07-16T21:39:00.000+08:00

I shall write about my dog since i have beginning to feel the lost really deep in side.I couldn't let any one c that i was crying. I didn't want to be look as week, n most of all is to avoid attachment. But i realise i failed the minute i cried this morning. I just couldn't take it to see him lying motionless on the floor. Its just so saddening. I wish i did alot for him while he was still here. I could be seen not having any emotion in the out side but i have to say it really hurts inside as i was the closest to him n him to me. He had seen me grew up.

Remembering him following me to school in the wee hours just to make sure i reach school safely. Its just so touching looking back then. He would do it without fail ,every morning doing the same routine.

Then when come s to secondary, he would follow me for tuition as to assist me there. Making sure every thing was right. I remember clearly there was once when he came attacking one of the guy working at the shop lots near by my house. He was so protective over me. I would never forgotten that.

He would follow us out as well when we go on local vacation for example to my late grandmothers house.He would be chasing the car. He used to be so strong that he could even keep up with the car until we part at the highway. But recently his health had degrade as he get older n now no longer here with us. There was once when he followed us, he didn't came back for 3 days after we came back from the trip. That time, i really thought i had lost him. But he came back after the third day we came back. I guess he was just lost. But it did made me treasure him alot as he was who i treasure alot.

There were times i played with him, talked to him, scold him, even kissed him. He's just so cute at times that you just can't help but to love him more.Its like when you talk to him, he would understand every thing you say, even when ur feeling down, he would come n make sure that u have him to care for you. I'm not sure if you guys feel it, but he just did that. He would put his attention all on you when you come home. Excitedly wag his tail when i come back.I just misses his present so much when his not here. Today i finally realise that he really carry hope every day when he excitedly wag his tail so that you know of his presence. But i would say i fail most of the time. N today when i reached home, i just feel so empty. He's no longer there... Not any more. It feels like your heart broke into million n million n million of pieces. N this type of heart break just doesn't heal over time, it takes years n years to mend it back. I wonder would it ever heal. It would never bring him back , there fore, even if it heals, i don't see any meaning to it.

He was sicked for a few times, n he would be crying in pain every time i see him. There would be tears in him eyes, trying to tell that he's going through it.N seeing him in that situation i couldn't do any thing but only pat him on the head. Even thought the time i spend with him wasn't sufficient, but i'm contented at least i had good, fun, sad times with him. Without him with me now, i really don't know how i would over come those tough time that is to come.

But what ever it is, i would just have to accept that the time he is to have with me is up. N he's got other destination to pursue. Hopefully he would be happy where ever he is to go. N may he be well n happy always. May he be reborn as a human in a good environment. That's all i can do, just to hope for the better for him. But i will never forget him. He would always be in my mind where ever i go.

Below is a little biography of Him-:

He was born to the country malaysia in white with brown eyes and perfect body. He then came to the Lee family in P.j when they shifted there in Jan the year 1995. He was just a puppy when he arrived at the gate of no 117, jln ss26/5 taman mayang jaya. He wasn't a favourite at the neighbour's house that time as the son always bit him for his bad habit-biting shoes. He found out that the lee family showed alot of care towards him, there for, he was taken as a child in the Lee family. He was to be the third in the private family tree. The oldest daughter of the lee family got close to him back then. N he showed his caring and love to her by sending her to school every morning without fail just to make sure she was alright n reach safely in school. He did that to all the other daughters and son of Lee family when it was their turn to go to school. He never seem to complain it as a trouble to do so.This was how he went through his life all his life.It was this until one time when we was caught in an accident. His leg was injured, he couldn't even walk properly. He spent almost 3 weeks to a month to recover from the injury. He was really in pain as tears did fill his eyes. Then later,another few accident as he was very active at that time. But none was as serious as the previous one. It was in 2000 or 2001 when a major disease hit him. There was a hole on his face. It was due to a fight he got him self with the neighbours dog. He was really badly injured and nearly died. But was healed by his owner with traditional medicine. If it wasn't for his owner, we would have died in the vet. Cuz his condition was really bad n by all means could have died any time. In the process of healing, there were maggots in the hole that was the cause of it not healing. But when his owner found out, he took it out one by one just to make sure it wasn't bothering him or hurting him. At that point of time, he was really lifeless as thought he was prepared to die. But he got thought it after just a few weeks. He was back to normal by the 3 week it self. Every one in the family was happy to see him back even thought he was a bit notorious back then where he likes to go to the garbage to find for food n bark at those that passes the front gate. He was a very naughty dog when he was young. He used to bark at old ladies that uses the road in front of the house. He would even chase those that are on bicycle just to scare them. But he was no harm to any one. They always say a barking dog don't bark, but when you see a dog that doesn't bark, you must be really carefully with it.That was him when he was young, just like every other dog, likes to disturb those that are easy to be disturb. Then later in his life, he lived a normal dog life. It was recently when his owner found out that he was getting old. Started to have hearing and eye sight problem. But they didn't think that it was serious at that time. They were also too busy with shifting house that time to notice about his aging. When his owner shifted, he was brought together to the new home, but couldn't situate him self there as he frequently goes back to the old house to rest and so on. He got used to it later after about a week. But he was still not used to the new house. As he grew up at the old house. He was there for about 12 years. N today, when his owner woke up, they realise that he was really getting old. They saw him fall lying even when he was standing very still before that. N he didn't even want to eat this morning when given his routine food- peanut butter jam bread. Then when his owner gave him those smoking biscuit, he was eating it with full of joy. N they thought he was still alright. There fore, they brought him out for walk later but he refuse to walk after a few steps. N demanded to go home. Upon reaching home, he did not want to enter the house .He might have know that he was going away already n wanted to guard the house for the last time. But still his owner brought him back in just to make sure he was shelter. But at 9.00 this morning, he passed away peacefully facing the gate .It was as thought he still wanted to guard the house even he was already away and wants to guard the house forever. His owner found out about his death and quickly inform the whole family. Later that day, he was buried at the SPCA in K.L as he was destined to be there with his other fellow buddies and friends.This was how he went through his life. With all the ups and downs, joy and sad times, loving n caring time and so on. He would always be remembered in his owner house even thought he's no longer here. The good that he's done to the family in priceless .May he be in peace and may the dhamma be with him . May he be well and happy always.

*IN LOVING MEMORY OF THE BELOVED DOG- DOGGIE*
-0900, 16/07/2007-

Picture of him would be up soon. That would be in the next post.

-DOGGIE-

2007-07-16T19:05:00.000+08:00

-my dog died at 0900 on the 16/07/2007-

It'S hiM aGaiN.....

2007-07-15T17:12:00.000+08:00

*He's just so cute- Say no more*

*The naughty look.. It's killing...man*

*Doesn't he look good in the suit?*

*He plays the GOLF... OMG*

*He's such a poser*

Hem actually i'm kind of out of things to talk about edi.. Besides what happened on fri- ABBY's Surprise Party... So i decided to include some of my CUTE GUY's pic.... Hehe....

So on fri, was suppose to go college but in the end , end up in KLCC.. AS USUAL... haha... Met up with angelyn at ampang park n main object was to actually go college but in the end we changed our mind n headed to KLCC....

While we were there, we met up with jimmy unexpectedly.... Wasn't really expecting to see him there... N besides it was a fri... So any way, went around walking...

Then later met up with wayne to go xua ann's house...so went there around noon , n had lunch there 2...Got ready at around 7 n headed to the station 2 go wangsa as abby stays in wangsa... (oh ya, the party was to start at 7.30, n it takes a round an hour to reach there... so u know lah... Malaysian time.. wahaha no need explain further right?)

Then we got there around 8.. n we were the latest.... So i guess, we really surprised her... cuz she wasn't expecting us-her college friend as it was suppose to be for her high school friend...

Any way, while we were there, met alot of people we didn't know... So kind of made new friends... But some how we were anti-social that night.. nOt knowing why, but we just was so reluctant to mix around.. But some how it was broken when most of her friends came talking to us...

They were friendly... N one that made a deep impression on me was a gurl name RUTH... She just came back from aussie for holiday... Some how it was just so normal for me to talk to her... may be there's some karmic force... i have no idea... Any way, it was fun meeting them all.... Really i didn't made a bad choice for not coming... As i was to about chicken out as i actually had transport problem to go back..wahaha...

But thank god andy's friend got us to the station...(by the way, andy is abby's boy friend...)its just so jealous to c them so loving.. hem....

Ok, enough about that,back to the pic above... hem got it from his blog.. he's just so cute... hem, the more i c him the more i'm attracted... But i know, i will never meet him... haha... its like he's in another part of the world... n besides, japan is just so BIG... N now i'm also lost in my own world..Not knowing what to do, what my future will be, what i am going to be.... Career, love, n all... its just so unpredictable... But i'm still eager to find it out soon.. Hopefully... But for now, i really need guidance on what i am to do, what should i do in order to secure my career n all...

In the mean time, i would just continue dreaming in my little own world about HIM....

May the triple gem be any one that need its as a guide...

Till then for the next post....

*by the way, does any one know how i can get Japanese translation so that i can type jap ? need it urgently... *

Thanks...

PressureD

2007-07-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

I'm so pressured for some thing...

As the pressure comes back again, i'm feeling the stress again...

Just can't seem to get that pressure away...

Can they just give me a break...

I know what i want to do, or am i not...

Just leave me, i'm like an ant that's lost on a hot boiling pot...

I'm going to get to a boiling point soon...

So stop...

Be 4 i burst....

I'm confused of what i wanna to do....

There fore, no matter how you push me, it will still be the same...

There won't be any progress as there's no urge of it....

Giv me a break ,would you please....

-ConfuseD-

mY w3Ek's proGress...

2007-07-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

First of all, i would like to thank jimmy for his concern..

Hem, i guess it wasn't me not to blog huh?? hehe...

Any way, just to satisfy jimmy's concern and curiosity, i would just post about what happened the past week...

Here goes-

As usual, during a weekdays, nothing much can be done as most of the time will be in college or either lagging with angie they all in klcc*fav spot-kim gary... Don't ask y... we just like to choose some place which is expensive...*wahaha...

Any way, on sat, the 07/07/07 which was suppose to be some important day to most, but to me it was just a normal day as DATE was canceled sob... Being postpone to the following sat... Any way, i spent the whole day at home watched tv -my fav show the ENGINE.... nice wei.. must watch...

Then on sun, didn't go temple as dad was bz cleaning up his things... so ya, again stayed at home doing nothing... Was too dead of studying as the weather was horrible... Any way, at night went for dinner at penang street in ss2... whoa..... the food is tremendously nice... i must say, they have good food quality... n it wasn't only one store but most of it was nice... you could find otak-otak, grilled fish, Fried carrot cake which was used be be famous in MUAR- my dad's home town... wahahah... any way, they had singapore's fried bi hoon as well.. i love that the most... Its like you could find every single thing you want there... N you name it you get it... Not to mention they also had baba's style food there... Hem that's the food of heaven... man...

Then came home to watch a movie later... MY WIFE IS A GANGSTER 3 .... It was really nice... you could c that communication is a big problem in the show... N that it had funny parts , sad parts, n others.. wahahaha.. i shall not spoil it for those that haven't watch it...

So there goes my weekends.... Hopefully it would be better this week... or not i would be bored to death...

Also looking forward to c my friend who came back from aussie... Was suppose to meet up last week, but was canceled... Also looking back to go back subang jaya... I miss you guys there.... C you guys soon.....

-missing always-

I LoVe YoU

2007-07-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

-I was wrong about FAMILY-

-It was indeed my mistake-

-I wrote it because i was mad-

-Therefore, this post is about apologising for my mistake-

-I LOVE YOU MOM N DAD-

The meaning of FAMILY

2007-07-04T20:53:00.000+08:00

What is FAMILY????

F- father
A-and
M-mother
I- i
L-love
Y-you

Thinking about it, you might love your parents...!!!

But does your parents love you...???

Especially those with siblings...

Do they really do...???

Do you get annoyed n start to hate them when they are not being fair with you...???

When you want some thing, they would giv all sorts of excuse saying that YOU can't...

But when its your bros or sis, it would be a different case...

It even happens when it comes to education...

They expect the eldest to help support ITS siblings when they even expect you to pay for it your self...

They would even say things like they have no money to let you study...

But in the end when its your sibling's turn, the money would just appear from no where....

They would even be borrowing those money....

All this i'm talking about is that if your the eldest and your a gurl...

But if your the eldest and your a guy, it would be a different case all together...

Some how life is just so unfair...

But what is it that we can do to make this change???

We just have to accept it even thought you know that it's not fair,

In this world,the right of having your say is no longer valid...

Some how i think the world is going backwards to the ancient where people put priority on guys...

Life is just so unfair...

-----eMo-----

2007-07-04T20:40:00.000+08:00

Emotionally down since yesterday night.

Didn't go college,

Counldn't put my self to go,

Even every other part of my body wants to leave the house.

Never once i was hit that badly,

It consist of all kind of pressure,

Life, FAMILY, College pressure...

Will just end it with some thing i thought of today....

A beggar is what i am,
Begging every day, every single minute,
Be it at home for food, money, fun, material stuff, love;
In school for friends, happiness, attention, peace;
We never seem to get bored, sick n tired of it;
As never once would you come telling your self that you can't take it any more;
Because the very next day, you would juts have to just beg for the same old thing.
If the one day really comes,
it is when your mad.

A mad person will be free from every thing,
free from pressure,
free from sufferings,
free from getting the love you don't get,
n that day is the day when you really get your own happiness ,
living in your very own world................

FRIENDS - CHAPTER 2 i think

2007-06-29T20:16:00.000+08:00

Some thing that I have said to my sister kept me thinking again.It was something about friends. Yes,you're hearing it again... FRIENDS. She had trouble with one of her friends a few days ago. N when she came consulting me about it, i told her that , if she(the friend)still insist on the same thing, just walk off. N start distancing your self from her. N i told her that, she only does that if she thinks that the friendship is no longer worth it to "prolong"*a better word*, sh also needs to be strong n not soft hearted... Friends comes ,friends go any way, so why bother one who's not worth it at all???

So any way, back to the topic again....
Some times, when you want to criticize about your friend, think about it, what is the point when you keep complaining & complaining that she's too this , she's too that, she shouldn't this , she should be like that....
Does that sound familiar to you? Ok, if it does, think about what i am about to say. What is the hassle to keep complaining when you know that the only option is to either bare with it or just leave her alone, which means stop being friends or if not a hi,bye friend?

*let me put it in a simpler way to be understand*
If you think you can't stand that friend of yours,leave him or her , don't just keep complaining that you can't stand him or her. This world is not just about 1 friend. Since you want perfectionism, go n find one that would suit the category. Dumb.

I just some how can't stand people like that. They just irritates me to the max. It's not like the friend you can not stand only have you as a friend. PLS, n if you want to complain about other people,go n examine your self first. LOOK IN TO THE MIRROR. You're not that better off only after all.

Talking about friends, do you call your self a friend when you don't even bother your friend if she /he is able to cope with work, they would make it the best that they didn't hear what you were asking, n make you ask the rest of your friends who you less keep in touch with? N the best part is that they think that you deserve it when you are absent. Even those hi, bye friend are more concern that the so call TRUE friend...

One thing i hate the most about friends is that not being honest with one another. N pls do not expect me to be honest with you ,when you're not at all. Telling some thing ,you tell most of your true friends??? Using the same line to please both side??? Think i'm stupid of what? Come on, i'm not a three year old kid that doesn't know. It's just a BLOODY excuse. FUCK OFF. I do not need you to stay by my side to make me WORST. I know that i'm not perfect as well, but hey at least i'm starting some where.

Last thing,*for now i guess* If you don't like this friend of yours telling you about her stuff, do you think you should not tell her yours also? You might not like it, your friend might also not like it TOO...

N its too late to mend the broken heart, its broken, do you think you can do any thing to it? It's the same as when the things is broken, its already consider sold..... It's the same theory.... N you can not have the cake n eat it... Choose a side, you can't please both side.... This is one lesson i would like all readers to learn, you will loose even more friends....

N don't use a friend when you need them n when you got your usual friend back n you dump the one that made it up to you when you were alone... It sucks to max to have being treated this way... I bet you do hope that no body treats you this way as well...
But its ok, i won't do the same back just to let you feel how i felt...
I would just take it as a lesson n keep it to my self....

*PLS- you will know if your the one i'm talking about.. But pls don't jump to conclusion ya.Comments are welcome any way. N this is some thing i feel inside that can not settle down by it self, therefore here i am blogging it out. N telling some one specific is worst as i do not know who i can trust now already. The one you think is best is in fact the one that's back stabbing you.... BEWARE..........

LiFe Is InDeeD a SuFFerinG

2011

Randomness

"Life's like a roll of tissue paper,don't wait till it gets to the last few sheets to realize you did nothing with your life- Lee Cheng Tue . "

Thanks Dad !

依然是朋友mv

新的一天

What is Emotional ?

Some times, I feel like hiding at one corner and just cry...

Malaysia Summer 2010 , my remaining days

Ending and starting of new

Different Ways

George Carlin

Dhamma in us

The Past

The American Accent

Michael Bublé - Lost (lyrics & translation)

Haven't Met You Yet-Michael Bublé lyrics

Timbaland feat. Katy perry - If we ever meet again lyrics

Eminem - Lose Yourself Lyrics

Rihanna - Stupid In Love (Lyrics)

爱情

A Quote of my own

Summer so far

Generation Me

Severe Vomiting

Sick

What does it mean by friendship !

Happy

Ai Ling

Friendships , Not !

PoeM

- Welcoming of year 2009-

Stuck for the first winter break !

Depressed !

Missing you badly !

Miserable

The road not taken and the road taken !

NEW BEGINNING !

DEJA-WU

LonelinesS

Its some how or rather differeT.

Down to 2, and NEXT wat?

-ANGIE-

Its not wasted when we treasur3

-my fEElINGs arE uNstablE-

Counting my days!

-My Days left in Malaysia-

Japan GT 2008

-Another weekenD-

My holidayS

KLCC the once Happening!!!

Klang for Ching Ming !

F1 ! Never !

-ElectioN-

Mood Swings Again!!!!!

CONFUSED

If He CAN so can US!!!!

Missing !

Bus Crash No More!!!!

*MISSING ALWAYS*

Bad Dream : tell it out or not to tell it out?

-FAMILY-

Please help stop cruelty towards animals !!!!

Drama series review

Happy 2oo8- New yeaR!!!

DowN

Tagged by kelly again... Madness man....

Tagged by kelly of 100 Questions!!!! Madness

-The way of lif3-

Personal Essay !

Lesson Learn On A Trip Out!!!

PaUpEr -POVERTY

ThE wOrLd To DaY !!!

-INCOVAR-

-AWAY-

- Blog in mandarin for the first time -

Short hair ! Lazy me !

*A fun and tiring day with erinA*

GROUP bring HAPPINESS ?

MISSING ALWAYS

A fun and tiring day with erinA

* the hardest choice i made/ break away*

FRIENDS - CHAPTER 2 i think