I'm sOrrY KEI

Wanted to blog yesterday, but some how the mood wasn't keen enough to continue blogging, but some how today i'm inspired to do so. Any way, i wrote this on a piece of paper before transferring it over the computer as my sister was using the computer just now. So the reason that kept me to blog for this post it that when i was clearing up my stuff just now to prepare to shift to a new house next month, i came across some thing which i think i should apologise to some one for it.I will review the person later.

As i was saying,that some thing was a note included with a chinese new year card i received this year. The card was a simple normal one. But what makes it out standing was the note inside which touches my heart after reading it once again. Therefore , here i am blogging about it.

In the note , the person updated me about every thing was happening in the temple all this while when i wasn't there.She was trying her best to tell me about every thing that was happening in the temple. She even took the initiative to send me a chinese new year card to wish me. I feel so guilty now that i think i don't even deserved to be her friend. And all of her hard work, i didn't even appreciate it and in fact, i even sort of up sad and blame her by saying that our friendship will never be the same as it used to be. I feel that i was the one that didn't not try my very best in patching back our friendship. It was me that left the temple not her. And in my previous post i said that i feel like a stranger being left out when ever i'm back there.

In the note she wrote to me, i can tell now that she really took me as a friend, and even a sister-ji mui. And for that time when i wasn't in temple, i was at some where else enjoying my self to have new met friends, and even acquaintance... She on the other hand told me to take my time exploring the other world, and that i need not rush back to temple. With reading that word again today, made me sang deep inside, thinking about what i had done for this friend of mine. And what was it that was so worth it in me that she treasure so much?

And for her to say that "its good to know that you have not forgotten me from your testimonial, and that i won't forget you too" made me even guilty. I remember writing her that testimonial, but what was it that i wrote inside? I just don't remember... And for that to happen, it shows that how worthy a friend i am... I AM WORTHLESS...

Here i would like to apologise to this friend of mine, KEI. I'm sorry, and i meant it, i'm really sorry for what i had done all this while to you... And if you have loose faith in me , i don't blame you for it as i deserved it... But i would like to pay back to you for all i had not done as a friend... I promise that i will make the effort to patch back this friendship of ours. You really taught me what friendship is all about from your letter...I guess this is the karma that is taking its place for me to experience and learn about it... And its our karma that brought us together as friends and sisters...

I'm really sorry for all i had done to my sisters in temple. Pls forgive me for all the wrong doings. I shall see you guys back in temple soon,but as for now there are things i need to settle before i could put all my heart back at temple and to contribute back to the temple for all the things that i had learnt from the temple about the dhamma...





I'm sorry once again KEI....






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